Birthday Blues

It is that time of the year again. That time of the year, which you’ve always wished, was bypassed. You were always so embarrassed by the thought of the spotlight being on you for even that brief moment. You never wanted that big cake and that loud singing. Just a whisper in your ear and a hug felt so nice. You were always so content with seeing someone else being the center of attention and you applauding from the sidelines. You’ve always been much better at those one to one encounters where your charm slowly plays out. You’ve sometimes watched this night pass wondering where you are now and where are you headed. Sometimes you’ve wondered what is so great about this day anyway. Why do so many people call you and why do so few people call you this day. Every time you think life is passing you by leaving you stranded and confused.

You sometimes take out old cards and gifts and wondered about those feelings behind them and how people take out time from their busy schedules to do things for you. But you are changing now, aren’t you? Loud singing and big cakes don’t embarrass you any more, even though you wished it all got over very quickly. You now remember to thank everyone who calls you, instead of going red in the face and not knowing what to say. You are also now ok with receiving gifts and this year you even managed to splutter out what you want... You do realize now that it is ok for people to want to give more than just their best wishes. What can I wish for you on this day? I’ve watched you grow up and watched life dance around you in its many forms. I was there with you when you stood on top of that hill and wanted to fly with the eagles.

I was there when you saw the life go out from your uncle’s eyes. I will be there with you till life goes out from your eyes. Until then we have a beautiful life ahead. You’ve been my pride and joy as I hope I have been yours.

Happy 20th Birthday

"I like my whiskey old and my women young" - Errol Flynn

We all know that men and women are wired differently and that sometimes the wrong wiring can set off dangerous sparks . Some wars do not need a reason to be fought , they are just a way of life . Poets and Playwrights have written about this gender grenade since like ages like the eminent John Gray who thinks that men and women are so different that they belong to different planets altogether .
All this due to the ultimate puzzle that civilization still graples with : What does a man want ???
I personally belive that it depends on the phase of life like for example take the dating phase , in this " so called " rose colored dim light phase all he wishes in a women is that she be pretty , soft spoken , careing , tender and be by the side always . Such a " simple dream " isint it ??...
Then , he dates her long enough to relise that he wants to marry her , Now his wish list alters , sometimes even without him being aware of it . He wakes up somedays to find his wife putting butter on the bread as if spanking a new born child, or she is muttering something in her breath as if to give an indication , sometimes i wonder do such categories even exist ? How can a whole planetful of women be so " Illogically " compartmentalised ?
So okay then , lets forget the compartmentalisation . Lets go back to the basic question What does a man want ?
A beautiful , smart , intelligent women with a great sense of humour , who is a good cook , a grand hostess, an efficient multitasker a person who will insure that the chips and the dips are served on a platter exactly when the India Pakistan cricket match begins , who will look after the kids , allow him his boy night out ever so often without calling him on the hour, be sensitive to his moods, and more or less be strong and passionate ... :)
I hav'nt met one person till date who has got everything what he had wished for , however i was talking to a friend of mine Kanika the other day and we were talking how we look towards a relationship , she had her own set of a wish list according to her ... Women are always lookng for a life partner who is a perfect blend of the qualities of Robin Hood and Romeo . A tall, handsome , big , strong , passionate man who never forgets birthdays and anniversaries , who always give up his game of a cricket for a chick flick , or goes shopping and holds the hangers while she tries " 26 " dresses and seven type of jeans. A man who will hush her back to sleep when the baby cries at 3 am and change the diapers himself ( without switching on the lights you see the light spoils her precious sleep ) , belives in supriseing her with expensive gifts on her birthday , leaves love notes around the house and is eternally grateful that she is a part of his life.
This too is a wish list however whatever kanika said to me online didn'nt make any sense to me , in other words it was going over my head later on i kind of thought about it and came to a conclusion or again a wish list ..


Just basic 7 random things that i wish women knew

• BE A SPORT : When a beautiful women walks into sight , Dont sulk about it . Before your boyfriend can say it, you say it " wow what a lovely lady ! " .. trust me there is no harm in appreciateing beauty.



• DO NOT BE A CLOCK-WATCHER : It's the job of of the clock to keep track of the minutes , hours and seconds not the women's when the man is out with his mates . If he is running late there must be good goddamn reason towards it



• RETURN TO REALITY : As a girl , you must have lived out a fairy tale in your mind. All homes were castles, all boys were young princes and the rest . BUT life is not a fairytale. The real world is real, it has a name , a street sign , a house number and every house has a story to it. A real life story is different from a soap opera.



• CRICKET : not the chirping kind but the game many men love and most women have no time for . Spend a little time watching the game ... it aint that bad



• CURRENCY V/S PAPER : This one my friend Ryan will agree on infact besides ryan there will be many others who will agree to me , sometimes it is critical to know the difference between currecny and paper when parting with it when going out for a date or something.



• QUIT THE DISTANCE DRIVING : Could women refrain from distance driving please ? By distance driving I mean telling their boyfriends how to drive while you are belted up in the passenger seat. Driving in Dubai is stressful enough; what makes it worse is when women push their feet against the floor thinking that they will slow down the car . It wont . The breaks are on the other side.



• FORGIVE AND FORGET : When a man forgets an anniversary or some other important date , it is not a " criminal offence ". It is possible that the date didnt ring a bell for some reason or the other. Forget it yaar why cause such an hassle .. !

P.S - I am a very happy commited man .. :)

Its all about the poker tables .. Baby !

My favourite way to pass time ( that is if i have ) these days is to play poker , thanks to Facebook i had initially started as being just an amateur , however i have now reached the advance stages as such ...

Poker has gone through a lot of history with people of varying cultures and social levels that it has transported itself from the traditional to a worldwide tournament. With the new advent of online gameing poker is one of the first casino games to have revenue generateing , simulated game online. Poker is entirely a social game . A poker player tends to develop observation skills of its opponents. Every poker player has mannerisms and personality nuances that would define himself and his game. Every poker player also seems to have a personal strategy and attitude towards the game that a longer a player plays with another they tend to know by instinct each other's possible moves. Online poker however lacks this potentialily . It is said that online poker has become less interactive and less personal , and i agree to that . It has defeated the sociability that the poker game is supposed to thrive on. It has been generally suggessted by a poppulation of online poker gamers that there must be some improvements given to the user interface and the overall arrangement of identity aspect . Facebook has perhaps revamped its Texas Holdem user interface however i personally belive that it is still not upto the mark . Better put , in an online poker game , you cant look at your opponent in the eye and smell fear or manage to glimpse a truimphant smirk that's a giveaway for a good hand .

So how does a professional online poker gamer make do with what’s not there? He/she can instead observe the gaming behavior of the opponent by analyzing the stakes they play with, who usually plays at a particular time, how does he play, when does he bluff, etc. To play poker online is even more challenging with the need to compensate for what’s not there, given that you have to feel the existence of something that would sometimes appear to be too virtual.

Atlantis the only casino that is present in Dubai will be the only place where rich arabs will be either making their fortune or looseing it completely . I hope maybe one day i will make my fortune there and rather being happy with my virtual chips appearing on the screen via facebook

Rabbism...

Rabbi Shergil , thats the only name that has been in my head for the last three or four days , personally i think this guy is great , all his songs touch reality in someway or the other when i saw the video Bilqis i was spell bound....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiGSKT9m9SE&feature=related

Every Indian i belive should watch this , it has a definite meaning he touches reality in the closest manner possible. I thought Jugni was his best song ever but i guess he has crossed all points and borders with bilqis. I bow to the current freedom fighters, This is a very moving soulful song that talks about specific incidents involving some deplorable human rights violations that happened in India over the last few years and asks Indian society to own up to them and do something — There is an acoustic guitar riff of India’s national anthem that is played a few times in the song and used extremely effectively sounds pretty sexy ... ! The first incident (Bilqis) happened during the communal riots in Gujarat circa 2002, and there are mentions of other incidents where individuals (Satyendra Dubey and Manjunath) protesting corruption had to pay the price of protest with their lives. And I do pay Rabbi his share of respect to bring this forth. This is a song of substance and only a real artist can make anything like this. Personally i belive efforts like this is needed , till when will we be supressed by selfish political leaders and Mafia dons ? .. and seriously for what ? .. ! I really respect Rabbi's music though he has not been given credit which he deserves in the Indian music industry but i have a lot of respect for him atleast he doesnt use half naked women in his videos to make them popular not to mention copied melodies to sell his music . His songs are thoughtful and full of substance.

Unlike Daler Mehendi and Mika of all the people he sings songs which actually makes sense , it is like a breeze of fresh wind admist the all-the-same-theme-indian pop songs. Hope this song makes a powerful statement and prove that music can itself mean a social change even in the Indian context ....

Jinhe naaz hai hind par vo kahan the

Jinhe naaz hai vo kahan hain

(( Where are those who are proud of India , who are proud where are they ?? ))

Resting on the Seabed ...

So its lost ... My cellphone has been lost , it is the 6th time i might be replacing my cellphone, it feels good though no more sms's no more calls nothing...but at the same time i feel handicapped like yesterday night when it was planned that the usual sneak out plan in the night would be on ... the usual smoking bouts that me and Ryan share , however it felt odd when i was driving to his place i thought to myself if anyone wakes up at my place and bother to give a call to find out where am i , how will they do that ? .. :S
Anyways i am thankful to Suheir Khalid aka moti , my closest of friends who has been there for me for a long time and hopefully i can meet her again today before she leaves for Banglore tomorrow morning. It was she the ultimate hyper women who managed to throw my cell deep inside the sea . Can you belive it i saw it going right in front of me ! well it was kind of funny when Suheir started crying ,though i wasnt pissed about it as it was expected out of me ... ! coz it was done by Suheir and not by any other person as such.
Wouldnt ever probably forget this day when it all happened , the Burdubai creek has been a nice place to all of us namely Ram , Ryan , Alif and off course Suheir , the last incident being Marlboro Lights which had to be rescued by me and Ram unfortunately Ram wasn't there otherwise we could have devised some plan to rescue the cellphone as well..:P
I am back to the Apple I phone , the one i hated with all my heart , i am back to lines getting disconnected without any oblivious reasons , i am back to complicated applications , and i am back to the phone where you hear things as if every goddamn person is under water today .
Well gotta be used to that now , for the time being till i buy something that comes under the brand called NOKIA

.......

""I have promised myself that i wont ever miss you but i will always remember how it felt beside you "".

Neither Mine nor Yours .. !

I was talking to Ram and Ryan an hour back about the present politics in India and how Mumbai being the financial powerhouse of the country is treating other North Indians ... How Fucked is Raj Thackeray in the head and how its a war between the uncle and the nephew ... well yeah another random stuff to pen down ... ! which later Ryan is gonna crib about but anyways who cares... !!

Maharashtra , it is a state that is located on the western coast of the country . It is the 3rd largest state in India and 2nd largest as far as population is concerned. The capital of Maharashtra being Mumbai , which also is the financial powerhouse of the country , main political parties being the Shiv Sena and the Mumbai Navinrman Sena ( MNS ) ....
What is it about Mumbai that is creating a hustle all over ... What is this uproar against all North Indians ? the reason being Raj Thackeray the leader of MNS , head of MNS , the goon of Mumbai , A mindless egocentric freak .. !
To really understand the phenomenon of Raj Thackeray and its present predicament on Mumbai , Bihar and other North Indian States, one has to combine a psychological and sociological perspective. In the case of Raj Thackeray and equally his uncle Bal Thackeray --it can be truly said that the personal is political , while the psychological provided by the unfolding of the relationship between them, the sociological is the constant invention of the ‘other’ as a necessary tactic of survival by the Shiv Sena, and now the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS)....
I personally believe that both Raj and Bal have this supermacy war against each other that has ignited the fire in their own battleground called Mumbai . Raj Thackeray as we all know ... when he got to know that he wont be the political heir to Bal Thackeray ... he decided to take them on their own turf and form the MNS - Mumbai Navinraman Sena , for Bal Thackeray it was the son's blood that triumphed over that of the nephew , ushering Uddhav Thackeray as the unlikely successor for Bal Thackeray.
Nobody is yet sure as to what happened to Balasaheb Thackeray all of a sudden after years of projecting Raj being his successor he suddenly changed his mind and decided onto Udhav Thackeray ( maybe a family crises .. but anyways who cares ?? ) ... however this decision of Bal Thackeray was very expensive ,as Bal Thackeray's unusual lack of wisdom, fueled a hostile competitiveness and rancour in the spurned Raj Thackeray.
To teach Bal and Udhav Thackeray a lesson the MNS was formed , Raj formed it not only to give a slap to Shiv Sena but also to other political parties and to lay its own claim to Maharashtra Mumbaikars , if not all of Maharashtra , throughout the history of Maharashtra MNS and Shiv Sena have barely come into a open conflict but an underground war of supremacy is always there.
Raj had learnt a lot of things from his uncle due to his close association with him . How to control Mumbai with muscle power , how to hold it to ransom , how to demand respect , how to bust the psychological nerves of Mumbaikars and protect them against the onslaught of foreigners -- the foreigners being the poor Indians who come to the shore of Mumbai to earn a living .... !
Many writings and movies ( Guru , A Wednesday , Yeh hain Mumbai meri jaan , Black Friday ) are a testimony to the composite nature of Mumbai created as it continually is through the migrations of Indians of all hues. weather they are from the east , west , south or the north it doesnt matter to them one bit. Mumbai is the only city in India that can be compared to cities like New York , Dubai or London ... ! like Mumbai people in New York are thrown on top of each other due to their hectic lifestyle , where they are forced to relate to each other irrespective of their caste,creed,color,religion etc...
What we know is that these cities are made by a labor of millions each has a dream and each wants to go for that dream
Do these cities belong to anyone ? Can they survive by abdicating to claims of primacy by a particular ethnic group, granting it privileges not granting to others . Language is a preference that comes with ethnicity and those who relocate themselves to Mumbai do not resist the language but accomodate their own speech onto it ... Marathi is not threatened by any other language and neither is Bambaiya Hindi which itself is a creation of this city .. !!
The Shiv Sena has survived as a regional party through a long track record by creating the ""outsiders "" and by presenting them as someone who take away what rightfully belong to the Marathis .. ! We dont need to remind ourselves that it was initially the South Indians , then the minority Muslims , then North Indians as a whole and then finally targetting UP and Bihar . This has been very easy for both MNS as well has Shiv Sena because its easy to beat them down... the outsiders have always been a migrant minority — regional or religious....
What does this do for the greatness of Marathi's that the opponents chosen are weak and defenceless unlike those that their hero Shivaji chose to battle ? .. Perhaps the relevant point here is Raj Thackeray for him its not the North Indians who are the real opponents .. it is the uncle Balasaheb Thackeray who is the main opponent , he is perhaps fighting for something which he calls his rightful inheritance ... .! The day is not far when Balasaheb will die ... if i am not wrong he is aged 65 or something .. !
Unfortunately , the youthfullness of desperate Raj Thackeray promises us that his brand of "gundagari " is not about to fade away in a hurry . To limit the damage of destruction between Bal and Raj Thackeray people should start beliveing on the fact that "" Mumbai kisi key baap ki nahi hain "" ... ! , it is the people who make the government and it is time the people are woken up from this utter nonsense that is happening in Mumbai ... It is only then that Mumbai could be termed as a world class city .... !

P.S - Ally just in case you read this post... do remember i still hate Maharashtra and there is no place that is better than Delhi ... :P

Relationships ....

Relationships ... As a child i was very sensitive about my relationships. Maybe coz i was shy , low on self confidence and that till the age of 10 i barely made any friends . I remember feeling this bond once when as a kid i had to go to Meerut to my grandmoms place by bus wih a co-passenger . Except when the journey ended the co-passenger walked off and we were back to being strangers again. I couldnt help wondering it if i just didnt have it in me to make a relationship work ? or maybe i was this unintresting bore who thought so much about himself , I wasnt sure as to what i had wanted ? Did i like being all by myself or to be in a relationship ? If i wanted to be in a relationship it would mean that i would have to change i wont like what i see every morning in the mirror there would be a lot of compromises and adjustments that i would have to make, and what guarantee is it that this relationship is going to be all good in short it is going to be a working relationship ??
What is a working relationship anyways .. it depends on where you start from if you aim at the stars then it means a relationship where both the partners are " happy " however if you tend to look at the ground it means a relationship where atleast one partner is happy ( isint it better to have atleast one happy instead of both of them being unhappy )
As i started analyzing myself as to why i couldnt make relationships work ? i decided i would go for a relationship where one person could be happy it could be me or it could be her ...
I decided onto this coz you know you keep your objectives low there are high chances they could be achieveable .. :) I thought to myself that it would be the best if my partner would be the who would be happy , coz when she would be happy i would be happy and maybe she would change herself to make sure that i am happy too....
To stick to this plan i decided to be more flexible , more open than i orignally was, the fact that i always had varied intrests has always helped. I started trying to understand what my partner was all about . Getting an insight in her mind , heart etc .. it is intresting to find so many new ways to do it . Every person is different and offers a different way to gain insight over her . Once i got to know that person , i started changeing myself to suit that person .... ! it was fun to see she discovering me , understanding me and haveing the same likes and dislikes .
To be fair here i wasnt really turning myself upside down under the wires of flexibility , it was more or less a course correction . DO NOT underestimate the power of course correction !! . We would still be sailing happily on the Titanic if the course correction had happened and offcourse there wouldnt have been any movie if that course correction had happened .. ..
The plan worked for me . I started to relise that i wasnt really bad at forming relationships , it had boosted my self confidence as well as makeing me relise that i wasnt a loser after all . It also helped to know closely some of the most amazeing women i have met in my short life .... :):)

All was fine until i met this new crop of modern , sensitive and smart women with a fair sprinkleing of traditional values. They asked me Apurv -- are you ok ? ... what do you want ? ... are you happy ?? I was stumped ! .. i dint know what to answer , i just dint know what was happeneing ? ... i needed to upgrade to a better software or a faster Ram/Chip or something . I wish i could be an airport announcer and say that "" the flight has been delayed "" and put off the microphone but NO .... I had to answer to these women, these women whom i am so attached to ... I answered them with a fake smile saying - i am happy if you are happy we want the same things its just that you are too frank about it .. maybe too vocal about it .. i am happy to see you smileing and happy .... I am not sure these answers satisfy them and i know the reason why , these seem to be superficial for their soul searching questions ... Surely after haveing a smoke or something i can come with something better (meaningful?deep?) rather than --- i am happy if you are happy .. ! ..

Except i cant , this is how i have chosen myself to be , this is the path i have taken ...
This is probably why they are in a relationship with me . I dont want to change back into a self-centered person who enters into a relationship as if i am entering into a contract where both the partners should know their roles . A realtionship is not a contract and it never will be a contract the more you try to control it the more it will slip away from your hand . It is like a small baby you say No to chocolates and she would want that chocolate only. She wants all that careing and loveing you have got . She is a bundle of joy though she has her own set of problems all you need to do is be a little more patient and not to loose your temper coz she could cry coz of that ....

I write this sitting in my balcony , with warm slow winds blowing across my face agreeing to whatever i have said today . I write this because being here alone all by myself makes me yearn for a relationship even more ... it makes me relise that what i am is because some of the wonderful spirits in life have and continued to rub off against me .. they have only got questions when it is my turn to give them answers , all i gave them were these seemingly unconvinceing answers . I dont think they love me for what i am as i love them for what they are

This is what matters to me and this is why we both are " happy " ... !

Mind the Heart .

Sometimes I just want to write. Except, I don’t know what to write. Sometimes, I just feel this itch to pen down what I am thinking. Except... I am not thinking anything. I am blank..!!.. almost like my mind is afraid to think, afraid to be brought out in the open under the spotlight

Maybe he doesn’t like me doing all this revealing.... He likes to keep its little secrets from me and reveal it to me when the “time is right”...!.
Its funny how the mind behaves sometimes almost like he lives a life of its own independent of me....!. Sometimes I think my heart and my mind are 2 separate individuals....!! What I finally end up doing is dependent on who wins the argument. If I don’t do anything then the argument is balanced on both sides...... I also feel that the heart and the mind respond to different impulses. They both take into account totally different set of factors before deciding on a course of action..... The mind for example would typically go the logical way. It will balance the pros and cons, the upside and the downside and then decide..... The heart is a different ball game altogether. Its difficult for the mind to comprehend how the heart decides.... The heart looks at what the nerves of the body have to say. What do the sixth sense, third eye and second nose have to say...!! Does it smell right? Does it sound right? Something doesn’t seem to be right here etc etc..... It’s amazing how many times these questions save us from potential troublesome situations..... The mind is never able to comprehend and calls it a fluke, a coincidence, or a miracle.....Maybe the mind isn’t made to comprehend this situation. What is the mind anyway???.... It is a function of knowledge (for lack of a better word) that is available to the society at a given time. This knowledge is imparted to all of us in the form of education..... In the early ages it was believed that the earth is not the centre of the universe and it actually revolves around the sun. Anyone who thought otherwise ..... Everyone also used to think the other way and if someone said no then he will be branded a madman and stoned to death or poisoned. Today if I came to you and said that I have proof of my next incarnation (and it will be what you really wanted to do when you left school) you will probably ask what do I smoke? But I am so sure in my heart that I will be an journalist in my next incarnation because that is what I really wanted to be when I left school. I am just waiting for them to fingerprint this whole genetic code and come out with this discovery...... I am grateful that we live in more tolerant times where I can atleast say what I want and not be stoned for it. Yes I will still be judged for what I say but I prefer it any day to stoning and other more drastic measures.......I still look forward to a world where we are not judged for our actions (except of course if we break laws). Where we have enough space to do what we want and how we want to do it......

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone just minded their own business and not interfered in others unless specifically asked to give their opinion? I was reading one of these colums (Friday magzine) on etiquette and it was talking about how houseguests should carry themselves. One of the things it said was that houseguests shouldn’t give advice unless specifically asked for. I was thinking that this issue is more than just an etiquette issue. What is worse is that people don’t think that what they are doing is wrong. So they are genuinely surprised when confronted on their behaviour. But then who am I to say that I am right and they are wrong. Maybe I am just exercising my personal prejudices.I think in a world where people are not judged for their actions the mind will be much closer to the heart in how it takes it decision. The mind will feel less bound by constraints and the need to be logical and confirm to societal norms.

How TO spend a Saturday ?? .. :)

Recently we ( Me , Ryan and Ram ) have started playing foosball a lot well thankx to Dana - the only Quiet place to play foosball and pool in Karama .. without ppl shouting .. "" TERI MAA KI " ... Etc etc ... ... well we do it just for the heck of it .. ! .. or yeah to laugh at Ryan ... with the fuckall thingz he does there.. ! + to get my mood on the right track after yesterday evening . :D
infact belive it or not he is improveing with whatever he knew ... i have been improveing my game and so is Ram .. ! .. i have decided i am just gonna use my cut shots .. ! to Irritate Ram ..
He has to keep his cool while playing..... he broke the ROD and A PLAYER .. ! today .. LMAO ....
Well today was fun ... as soon as we woke up .. we were out .... in my moms word ... we were "" AAWARA "" ... one part i am thankful about is .. ! all three of us have got a driveing license ( alif i hope you read this .. :P:P ) its a pleasure driveing the opel omega.. and i have made Ram promise of never selling that car ... can you belive it .. there is a small button near the gear which says RACE .. muhahah ... i dont think i need to say anything more on that .. ! ..

I love that car .. ! its a beauty .. ! .. We met Ram's dad after that he had to get the car serviced i personally belive he is a serial killer ... his face is sooo fuckinn scary it can KILL you .... plus he has a killer tattoo in his arm ..... !

We had dinner together (after our daily dose of foosball ) at KFC ... well it was fun as well as weird .. coz few kidz there.. tried to frisk Ram .. ! . haha ...
Herk .. aka Herkules .. it was his treat today at KFC no clue why he gave the treat but anywayz it was fun ... Me and Ram .. invented this new word today called .. "" Cheezy ""
well you can call it lameness .. or whatever .. but we simply love that word ... !
its amazeing to bug Ryan by just saying ... "" ehh .. Ryan whatever it is .. YOU just cannot be cheezy about it "" .. :P:P .. our usual fuckall way to rhyme it .. also continued which included cheezy - crispy - tipsy ...etc...
after hogging a lot of KFC and makeing it very difficult to walk we decided to proceed towards the Bur Dubai Creek ... its like our daily adda now ... ! we like to have a smoke there .. coz it aint that far from Karama plus who cares .... we can alwayz drive down .. ! ..
Ram , Ryan and Herkz were talking about Diwali the day me ryan and ram played cards .. till 2 in the morning .. ! well yeah i lost badly .. BUT THEY CHEATED !! ..
We decided to play again .. ! went to my place and decided on playing Teen Patti !! ... Herkz said he knew how to play teen patti / flash .. however when he folded a trail of 10 .. i had doubts over it .. ! ... all in all it was an amazeing day .. ! ... i guess i will be fucked royally day after coz i had planned to do my kichen island plan sheets today however blahh who cares... ! i guess Alfiya or Saniya could come for my rescue .. ! :P ...