Classic.

Dear Females.

I'm fed-up, Done. Finished. I always hear stories about girls not being able to trust guys because they cheated, or treated them bad. I always hear stories of girls saying that they just dont want to be with the guys because of past relationships. Say that you are actually waiting for a "good guy" etc. But why the fuck when you do get a good great guy you choose to ignore him ?. Call him your best friend or some shit like that and when he falls for you, you give him some bullshit that you are not ready for it, you cant trust again !.... then in two hours you are with screwing some asshole who clearly didnt give a fuck about you before. Dear females , the good guys are like out there, you are just making us scarce ...

Sincerely
New Guy or rather new found asshole.

The sensible night.

Kahin baadalon mein ghoomein

Kahin aasmaan ko choomein
Kahin sultanat ko paa kay
Mein na jaanoon ray
Kisi ko taraana sunna kay
Kisi ka parcham lehra kay
Apni ghulami samaa kay
Mein na jaanoon ray

Is duniya ko kaisey choroon mein
In rahon pay kaisay jaoon mein

Let Me be Myself ...

Every now and then I need a state of isolation or maybe term it as seclusion, however these things dont really come out of the blue or something, its just that once in a month or so i would like to be alone to figure out a lot of things on my own, to explore the city on my own, to live it my own. I spoke to a classmate of mine about this, as she also felt the same way as me, since the time she has shifted base to Milan. She wants to be just alone, stare at a ceiling or something similar, staring point blank at a ceiling can freak out people who are around you, and thats perhaps why i dont do that, her reason is quite a lame one, according to her she wants this solitude from life and others around her because she just had a breakup with her boyfriend, for me i think of it as a physical solitude where you are forcing yourself to numerous attempts in order to remove distractions from life and probably concentrate on something else, that can be a bigger priority in life. kya lauda lasoon hain yeh ? .. complete behenchodgiri !

Why for one person stop your life, and come to a standstill as if there is nothing more left, it might have mind-fucked for you to talk /think/speak about that person but till when can you do that ? .. There will be a point where you have to get out of that comfort zone with a loud BANG !

There is nothing to be reminded off, till the time you are not an emotional fool to fall for it every single time, this mind is a dangerous weapon it does have its moments where it tries to wander around the same things again and again. If that person was meant to really come back, he or she would have come back, but then you cant really count your life on it, its too big a hassle and a much bigger head-ache than being single and living happy the way you want it, being single doesnt really mean to not date anyone, it is just an act where you seem to be in a relationship for yourself, but nothing more than that, it is just what you want at that particular moment not anything more and not anything less. The problems are when you talk of relationships, they dont really make sense to me, they are beautiful in their own way, but honestly the dating part is better where you dont seem to be emotionally attached with each other, that you are scared to say anything because it might seem to hurt another person.

You do have a super - duper life dont you ? I say super-duper life solely because the world has not ended, there are countless people you eventually meet, some good and some gandu ! , but all in all , it just teaches you important lessons in life which are supposed to be taken as lessons so as to not to commit them the next time something similar happens.

Probably take life as it comes, do things you always wanted to do, but couldn't because of your crappy commitments to other things, give your friends the importance they should be given because they will eventually be the ones who will be around for your tattoo art on your shoulder blades, for the numerous piercings on your body, for the times that you fall sick, for the times they want to drink, for the times you always want to have fun, for the times where you seem to be enjoying life to the max.

I always remember this song called Let me be myself - 3 doors down, infact me and Gozde do listen to it quite a lot these days, Gozde is the girl whom i work with these days with my present project, yes the beautiful eyes girl ...

Please, Would you one time let me be myself , So that i can shine with my own light ... let me be myself.....

These are the kind of lyrics that help you to get on with it, and do things that you always wanted to do, but didnt ................. coz you had to be answerable to someone.

I came , I saw ... and I ran ....

They do say a lot, and they do express a lot. Some maybe fake, some are not so fake, Some express the freedom some express the intuition. Yes, I did make full use of the camera today, I clicked faces...

Come to think of it, DA doesn't have too many good looking girls, but thats not DA, that was like how Architecture and Design was made, When god had decided to allocate girls according to various professions, He fucked us over ! ... He gave the Fashion people, Management People, Medical People, Media people , IT people etc... all the awesome looking girls, and he decided to give us the left over.

Its like he was playing a practical joke on the design and architecture people, He had like a bet with all the other gods (his colleagues), over drinks or something as to how he can screw us completely. hahah !

Me and many other guys are paying for it, till now, Old fashion club house was an eventful night,things had to happen there, it was quite obvious, but then again to start with Shirley wouldn't be an appropriate choice, but its all good who cares ? .. ! Bindaas rehne ka

I Love you ....... (Yes i am waiting for a reply)

Gone are the days when " I love you " would actually evoke a reply from my girlfriend. I say echo because she used to give me this romantic look and reply "I love you too". Now i can say it comes under the concept of "Purani yaadien". Now that we have been dating for like a year now, things seem to be changing a bit. We have our usual fights but alls well, we patch up in like an hour of ( no talking , no smses to each other ) . I love you no longer gives me those romantic looks, they no longer get me the similar feeling if not, similar sounding words....
I wouldn't have put it up for the world to see (not that people don't have any other work other than to check blogs) if it had not been for what happened today afternoon, I was studying and she had called me, this is how our conversation went ..
Aakriti: Hey
Me:Hi wats up?
Aakriti: Nothing much .. just been busy with the coming up examz .. Eco Sucks !!
Me: Umm yeah it does ...
Aakriti: How are you coping up with your examz ?
Me: Pretty good ..
Aakriti: Are you free for 3 hours tomorrow ?
Me: It depends .. anywayz whatz the plan ?
Aakriti: No i plan to go to the creek and study
Me:huh ?
Aakriti: Umm yeah i will study there our purana aada .. will you come ?
Me: I dont know .. not sure..
Aakriti: OK BYE ! i have to study
Me: Hmm ... bye i have to study too .. Love you ..
**** The phone got Disconnected this convo must have lasted for like barely few minutes and thats how it had to really end ...

There was a time when my "I love you" had positive responses, so much that i had to give a call to Alfiya or Saniya to tell them that i will be somewhat late to class, which eventually i used to never go for. Over the past one year, the responses that i have actually got from her have been quite dwindling. Here is a list of responses that i have got from her

IMPORTANT- We started dating "Officially" on 11th December 2007

January 11th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: I love you too

March 22nd 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: You look good when you wear your black Kurta ..
Me: :S

June 18th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: I am missing you .. :(

July 29th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: You have to quit smoking its been 3 months i have been telling you this...

September 18th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: You have to quit smoking its been 5 months now ... 6 cigarettes per day now -- PERIOD !!

November 24th 2008
Me:I love you
Aakriti: Hey isin't your Bday coming soon ??

December 17th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: Umm yeah uhhh.... (yawn) .. me too !

January 5th 2009
Me: I love you
Aakriti : I am sorry i wont be able to meet you in the evening as i have to study.. ( Bullshit ) ... and then my parents will be at home so i wont be able to call you either anywayz... take care Bye ..! ..

(And now as i am guessing ... )
January 1st 2015
Me: I love you ..
Aakriti: So ??? ...

So much for Relationships ...
A quick question before i bid adieu and go again working on my Residential Design Portfolio ...
Question: If your girlfriend puts poison on her boyfriends pea soup how will he die ?
Answer: Peas-fully .... Lmao

Yes i take immense pleasure and appreciation for my lameness .. :p

"I like my whiskey old and my women young" - Errol Flynn

We all know that men and women are wired differently and that sometimes the wrong wiring can set off dangerous sparks . Some wars do not need a reason to be fought , they are just a way of life . Poets and Playwrights have written about this gender grenade since like ages like the eminent John Gray who thinks that men and women are so different that they belong to different planets altogether .
All this due to the ultimate puzzle that civilization still graples with : What does a man want ???
I personally belive that it depends on the phase of life like for example take the dating phase , in this " so called " rose colored dim light phase all he wishes in a women is that she be pretty , soft spoken , careing , tender and be by the side always . Such a " simple dream " isint it ??...
Then , he dates her long enough to relise that he wants to marry her , Now his wish list alters , sometimes even without him being aware of it . He wakes up somedays to find his wife putting butter on the bread as if spanking a new born child, or she is muttering something in her breath as if to give an indication , sometimes i wonder do such categories even exist ? How can a whole planetful of women be so " Illogically " compartmentalised ?
So okay then , lets forget the compartmentalisation . Lets go back to the basic question What does a man want ?
A beautiful , smart , intelligent women with a great sense of humour , who is a good cook , a grand hostess, an efficient multitasker a person who will insure that the chips and the dips are served on a platter exactly when the India Pakistan cricket match begins , who will look after the kids , allow him his boy night out ever so often without calling him on the hour, be sensitive to his moods, and more or less be strong and passionate ... :)
I hav'nt met one person till date who has got everything what he had wished for , however i was talking to a friend of mine Kanika the other day and we were talking how we look towards a relationship , she had her own set of a wish list according to her ... Women are always lookng for a life partner who is a perfect blend of the qualities of Robin Hood and Romeo . A tall, handsome , big , strong , passionate man who never forgets birthdays and anniversaries , who always give up his game of a cricket for a chick flick , or goes shopping and holds the hangers while she tries " 26 " dresses and seven type of jeans. A man who will hush her back to sleep when the baby cries at 3 am and change the diapers himself ( without switching on the lights you see the light spoils her precious sleep ) , belives in supriseing her with expensive gifts on her birthday , leaves love notes around the house and is eternally grateful that she is a part of his life.
This too is a wish list however whatever kanika said to me online didn'nt make any sense to me , in other words it was going over my head later on i kind of thought about it and came to a conclusion or again a wish list ..


Just basic 7 random things that i wish women knew

• BE A SPORT : When a beautiful women walks into sight , Dont sulk about it . Before your boyfriend can say it, you say it " wow what a lovely lady ! " .. trust me there is no harm in appreciateing beauty.



• DO NOT BE A CLOCK-WATCHER : It's the job of of the clock to keep track of the minutes , hours and seconds not the women's when the man is out with his mates . If he is running late there must be good goddamn reason towards it



• RETURN TO REALITY : As a girl , you must have lived out a fairy tale in your mind. All homes were castles, all boys were young princes and the rest . BUT life is not a fairytale. The real world is real, it has a name , a street sign , a house number and every house has a story to it. A real life story is different from a soap opera.



• CRICKET : not the chirping kind but the game many men love and most women have no time for . Spend a little time watching the game ... it aint that bad



• CURRENCY V/S PAPER : This one my friend Ryan will agree on infact besides ryan there will be many others who will agree to me , sometimes it is critical to know the difference between currecny and paper when parting with it when going out for a date or something.



• QUIT THE DISTANCE DRIVING : Could women refrain from distance driving please ? By distance driving I mean telling their boyfriends how to drive while you are belted up in the passenger seat. Driving in Dubai is stressful enough; what makes it worse is when women push their feet against the floor thinking that they will slow down the car . It wont . The breaks are on the other side.



• FORGIVE AND FORGET : When a man forgets an anniversary or some other important date , it is not a " criminal offence ". It is possible that the date didnt ring a bell for some reason or the other. Forget it yaar why cause such an hassle .. !

P.S - I am a very happy commited man .. :)

Relationships ....

Relationships ... As a child i was very sensitive about my relationships. Maybe coz i was shy , low on self confidence and that till the age of 10 i barely made any friends . I remember feeling this bond once when as a kid i had to go to Meerut to my grandmoms place by bus wih a co-passenger . Except when the journey ended the co-passenger walked off and we were back to being strangers again. I couldnt help wondering it if i just didnt have it in me to make a relationship work ? or maybe i was this unintresting bore who thought so much about himself , I wasnt sure as to what i had wanted ? Did i like being all by myself or to be in a relationship ? If i wanted to be in a relationship it would mean that i would have to change i wont like what i see every morning in the mirror there would be a lot of compromises and adjustments that i would have to make, and what guarantee is it that this relationship is going to be all good in short it is going to be a working relationship ??
What is a working relationship anyways .. it depends on where you start from if you aim at the stars then it means a relationship where both the partners are " happy " however if you tend to look at the ground it means a relationship where atleast one partner is happy ( isint it better to have atleast one happy instead of both of them being unhappy )
As i started analyzing myself as to why i couldnt make relationships work ? i decided i would go for a relationship where one person could be happy it could be me or it could be her ...
I decided onto this coz you know you keep your objectives low there are high chances they could be achieveable .. :) I thought to myself that it would be the best if my partner would be the who would be happy , coz when she would be happy i would be happy and maybe she would change herself to make sure that i am happy too....
To stick to this plan i decided to be more flexible , more open than i orignally was, the fact that i always had varied intrests has always helped. I started trying to understand what my partner was all about . Getting an insight in her mind , heart etc .. it is intresting to find so many new ways to do it . Every person is different and offers a different way to gain insight over her . Once i got to know that person , i started changeing myself to suit that person .... ! it was fun to see she discovering me , understanding me and haveing the same likes and dislikes .
To be fair here i wasnt really turning myself upside down under the wires of flexibility , it was more or less a course correction . DO NOT underestimate the power of course correction !! . We would still be sailing happily on the Titanic if the course correction had happened and offcourse there wouldnt have been any movie if that course correction had happened .. ..
The plan worked for me . I started to relise that i wasnt really bad at forming relationships , it had boosted my self confidence as well as makeing me relise that i wasnt a loser after all . It also helped to know closely some of the most amazeing women i have met in my short life .... :):)

All was fine until i met this new crop of modern , sensitive and smart women with a fair sprinkleing of traditional values. They asked me Apurv -- are you ok ? ... what do you want ? ... are you happy ?? I was stumped ! .. i dint know what to answer , i just dint know what was happeneing ? ... i needed to upgrade to a better software or a faster Ram/Chip or something . I wish i could be an airport announcer and say that "" the flight has been delayed "" and put off the microphone but NO .... I had to answer to these women, these women whom i am so attached to ... I answered them with a fake smile saying - i am happy if you are happy we want the same things its just that you are too frank about it .. maybe too vocal about it .. i am happy to see you smileing and happy .... I am not sure these answers satisfy them and i know the reason why , these seem to be superficial for their soul searching questions ... Surely after haveing a smoke or something i can come with something better (meaningful?deep?) rather than --- i am happy if you are happy .. ! ..

Except i cant , this is how i have chosen myself to be , this is the path i have taken ...
This is probably why they are in a relationship with me . I dont want to change back into a self-centered person who enters into a relationship as if i am entering into a contract where both the partners should know their roles . A realtionship is not a contract and it never will be a contract the more you try to control it the more it will slip away from your hand . It is like a small baby you say No to chocolates and she would want that chocolate only. She wants all that careing and loveing you have got . She is a bundle of joy though she has her own set of problems all you need to do is be a little more patient and not to loose your temper coz she could cry coz of that ....

I write this sitting in my balcony , with warm slow winds blowing across my face agreeing to whatever i have said today . I write this because being here alone all by myself makes me yearn for a relationship even more ... it makes me relise that what i am is because some of the wonderful spirits in life have and continued to rub off against me .. they have only got questions when it is my turn to give them answers , all i gave them were these seemingly unconvinceing answers . I dont think they love me for what i am as i love them for what they are

This is what matters to me and this is why we both are " happy " ... !

Why is it ?? ..

Why do relationships get so fucked up ?? .... Why is that there is always a clash of egos ?? ... Why is it that she cant relise that i am not ignoreing her ??... Why is it always like that ?? ... Why is it that i am always taken for granted ?? ... Why is it that she cant relise that i care for her ?? .. Why is it that i am missing her right now ?? ... Why is it that i cant stop thinking about her ?? .. Why is it that i have changed ?? .. Why is it that i dont feel the same about her ?? ... Why is that i dont love her anymore ?? ... Why is it that my life has just come to a standstill ?? ... Why is it that i keep on thinking of the past ?? ... Why is it that i feel she is not the right one ?? ... Why is it that i feel this relationship was a mistake ?? .. Why is it that i feel i am lost ?? .Why is it that i am waiting for her call or an sms ??... . Why is it that she cant keep anything to herself what i tell her ?? ... Why is it that i feel she lied to me ?? .. Why is it that i feel that i want to be single ?? .. Why is it i feel there is a need of a break here ?? .. Why is it that i am confused about it ?? Why is it when i feel like talking to her she doesnt want to talk ?? ... Why is it that i feel everything is gone ?? ...Why is it that I have tried my level best in this relationship ..and cant do anything more ?? ... Why is it that i cant be the way i am ?? ... Why is it that i cant be dependent on anyone besides her ?? ... Why is it that i tell her my innermost secrets ?? Why is it that i trust her ?? .. Why is it that she still clings onto her ex ??..Why does she always do it ?? .. Why is this happening anyways ?/ ... Why is it that i love her ?? ... Why is it that she cant talk to me normally ?? .. Why is it that there is always an attitude in her voice always ?? Why is it that i am even thinking about it right now ?... ! Why is it that i feel we were the best when we were friendz ?? .. ! Why is it that i feel that i have no importance for her ?? .. why is it that i feel this relationship is not going anywhere ?? .. Why is it that she cant trust me with my friendz ? why is it that she has a doubt over me alwayz ? .. !

Why Is It ? .. Why Is It ? .. Why is It ? ... Why is It ? .... !!

Marriage ??? Anyone ??

My girlfriend and me had this conversation last night .. !! ..she asked me this question ... "" will you ever leave me ?? ... "" it sounded more like "" i hope you will never leave me ?? "" .. it seems a odd question for me .. ( after completein 9 months a question comein up like this seems pretty off ) ....
anywayz... later on i was havein a smoke .. when i thought about this concept called marriage ..
If being single is on the right side of marriage .... being married is the wrong side of marriage .. then being divorced is on which side ??? .. the right side or the wrong side.. or is it the worst of the two worlds ??
Typically men and women i think go into marriage for myriad of reasons....they go into it for companionship , for sex , for stability or just to legalise ( socially acceptable ) their existing relationships
Why does a married couple decides to go in for a divorce anywayz? if you ask my girlfriend she will tell you that women start to hate all those very things in men which they loved them before marriage ! .. i think people need to go in for a divorce because thingz are not working out as they had planned it / envisaged it ... their relationship is not at the level they would want it to be ( that again could be for a variety of reasons ) this is not to say if the above conditions are met everytime it results in a divorce.
We as human beings are more resilient and adaptive than what we get credit for , we usually like to take all available options before taking the final plunge !! its not
easy taking that final plunge , as its not easy to ending a relationship in which one has invested so much of our time and energy onto it , there is societal pressure more for the women and haveing kids also creates complications.
So if one has had a divorce where does that person stand as compared to her unmarried and married compatriots .... I use the word "" she "" here as an indicative for both men and women .. In an ideal sitchuation and in a free society i feel she is in a better position as compared to the other two. She has had a chance to see life from both sides ( both the best and the worst ) and she is in a position to decide where does she want it to take it from there ?? she may decide to take some time off and not marry for sometime or forever and she may decide to focus on her long lost career without havin to invest time in her relationship!!! ... or she could be smart from her previous experience and know exactly what to look in for a man ( husband / boyfriend ?? ) . She would know exactly what problems crop up after marriage and try to make an agreement on those before marriage . I personally think its a very exciteing crossroad to be in, noone plans to be here but if one does get here one should make the best of the situation....Every situation has its positives and negatives ... the negatives of being in a divorce we very well know .. as it is drilled in our heads by the society and people around us ... however noone tells the positives of the situation to us .....
I say all this in an ideal situation and free society.... I’ll restrict myself to the Indian society because that’s where most of my experiences and interactions are based...... A divorced man is now much more socially acceptable than what was the case even a few years back and if he decides to get married he usually doesn’t face any problems getting remarried......... Usually his ex-wife had some “problems” and the poor man was left with no option but to file for a divorce!..... (I say usually here because I know of some exceptions where I see no reason why those men shouldn’t be happily married)..... Now the divorced man may not have it so easy getting remarried it is definitely not half as hard as the divorced woman......
A divorced woman is still in the process of getting socially acceptable.... I think urban parents are now starting to advice divorce for their daughters who are in marriages that just don’t work......... (Again this is on the basis of my experience and interaction)...... Also young women are more sure of themselves than what they were lets say 10 years back, a single woman with children is not a rare feature anymore....... Women are able to support themselves through their jobs and also her friends network usually jumps into help ........the fact she also gets more than her share of men trying to get “close” to her is always a pain....... It is still difficult for a divorced woman to get married, most cases that I know of .......the women get married to their friends/colleagues whom they have known for some time and who understand that there is more to that woman than just that stamp of divorce!

I think it would be fair to say that it is an indicator of how much a society has evolved by the way it treats a divorced woman..... while we are not as bad as what we 'used to be we still aren’t there as yet.....