December 4th , 2008 ----> Tamarind and the Famous Dope

It seems that it has just gone. It seems that it just did not happen. How much ever i can deny i know it that it had happened, blaming on being high on weed and vodka is also something which cannot be justified. I probably feel stunned as to the way i am. I feel this city called New Delhi has taken over me, staring at the mirror at the moment does not yield any way as to what had happened , maybe the atmosphere at Tamarind had taken over me, maybe the way Anu answered me. Guilty is not something which i am looking forward to... Why should i feel guilty about it anyways ?.. I don't think i did anything wrong at that stage, i guess Ria and Anu believe the same. It couldn't be the end of the world or is it ? or maybe i am too high under the influence of a requisite pot well personally i would have said it was Exotic. I might have never got lost on my way back provided i would have lived here more than the last 15 years of my life. I feel the markings on the roads were trying to tell me something, a path towards redemption , a path towards internal peace, however it might have mislead too .

The trucks zooming past me seemed like big elephants running in a heard , as if running from a fire in the forest . Its probably amazing that vehicles can act as humans and animals too. I could read signs telling me " vengeance point ahead " , it could have taken me 10 minutes to be back from Safdurjung Enclave however the journey seemed to have taken hours, my eyes feel pain , i can see it watering , it has a glowy red feeling towards it. My head seems to be storming , it seems Atom bombs are bursting one by one .

I feel the wind blowing on my face as if to ask for companionship, the floor below is inclined i feel closer to the clouds. Is it just me or is it just in my mind that in this cold winter i am only one who is sweating profusely. Everything seems to burning from the inside , mu lungs are trying to exhale a big fire. Maybe the Blue fairy is trying to give me a message to Fuck one and Fuck all !

Everything seems inverted, maybe i am the one who could be upside down. Why do i regret it now ? . Why couldn't have thought about this earlier ? It's just probably a time of 2 hours more that i would be fine, my main initiative to write this today is to record my experience no matter how fucked it was, at the moment when you see the sky , you can probably note that a animal kingdom is alive , there seems to be a re-make of jungle book happening up there.

At the moment i presently feel like a Guardian Angel sent from far away lands. Maybe because i can still hear Vikrant singing right into my ears

"" Get your lighters , roll that shit and lets get higher

your lungs are gonna feel a fire

maybe you think i am a liar

drive as if you have a burning tire ""

""You are soo fucked that probably gonna roll

Until its done dont open the door

Dont pass it i can't take it anymore

Someone go down and take a trip to the store ""

Our Netas are us...

Since the time i have landed in New Delhi there is a new buzz in this town and i dont blame it . The Mumbai Blasts have created a huge tension among the people everywhere, infact my conversation with almost everyone here is just about this and nothing else, it is by far the most fucked national security problem that the country has faced till now since the last 60 years of its independence. The usual Sms's are doing its rounds ---> We have dealt with the men who came in boats, now we should deal with the men who come in with Votes ; lets hope Chandibaram will bring down the terrorism like the way he brought down the stock market. Never before has the Indian Political Class as a whole been so fucked by the citizens as after the Mumbai terror attack.

The anger directed at our politicians is inevitable and justified; there is profound sense of betrayel by a political leadership .

The token resignation of some netas some effected in the face of shameless reluctance to demit office will do nothing to assuage public anger which is only too aware that those shown the door will be replaced by the same moronic clones of the same genetic stripe : 100% promise 0% performance. I am not saying this just for the heck of it , facts prove it . Snubbed by the father of the NSG commando killed in action, the Kerela CM said " even a dog would not have visited the Unnikrishnan house had it not been that of a martyr " . I personally would say its more the pity that it had to be the commando and not the CM himself as the martyr . Not to be outdone in the in the " Most Tasteless Remark of the Year Award " Deputy CM of Mumbai R R Patil said " Yeh toh bas ek chotha sa hadsa tha " . I am more than happy that he has given his resignation coz of his ABSOLUTE inability of handling the situation , the most shocking part is after the whole 3 day debacle with the terrorists at the Taj and The Oberois , the CM of Mumbai Vilasrao Deshmukh brings along Ram Gopal Verma as his private guest to view the devastation in the hotel for a new movie proposal (you see the incident has just happened recently and it will be fresh on the minds of the people so why not a movie at this time it could be a major hit)

Our Political class as a whole are assholes they are arrogant , flagarantly self serving and utterly derelict in fulfilling its most basic duties and responsibilities to those who have voted it into existance. Which is us . And there lies the rub . In a democracy even a deeply fucked democracy like ours where the ballot box every year should be renamed as the bribery box we are as responsible for our political leaders as they are supposed to be for us but are not , as tragic evidence only clearly shows .

I sometimes wonder why is that India can produce world class scientists,doctors,artistes,philosophers,scholars not to forget soldiers (whose heroism is all too often sacrificed on the altar of political drama) but a generic political class that can be graded as 3rd grade, if that ?... Could it be that other professions demand skills and dedication that reflect what might be called our highest common denominator, the profession of Indian Politics reflects our lowest common denominator ?

In a democracy , politicians are what we, the people, choose to make of them. If our politicains are corrupt and drunk in the name of power is it not because we ourselves have made them this way , first by electing them to power and then by seeking boons from them as one would do from a powerful diety ?

We will vote not for the most deserving, or efficient, or honest, of candidates but for the one who, for reasons of caste or other considerations, is the most likely to grant us favours in the form of jobs, reservations, government contracts, string-pulling, out-of-turn LPG connections, attendance with much fanfare and security bandobast at our family weddings or other functions.

It is time that these old idiotic morons give way to new faces who have credibility and ability to do something for this country and not for themselves like my father always says " Yeh aaj kal Pilot, Rahul Gandhi jaise launde dekhna ek din kuch karke dikhayenge "

If our politicians are the parasitic monsters that we accuse them of being, it's because we have helped to make them that way. By all means we see the ugly and unacceptable face of Indian politics. But let's realise that it's the same face we see in the mirror every morning.

Birthday Blues

It is that time of the year again. That time of the year, which you’ve always wished, was bypassed. You were always so embarrassed by the thought of the spotlight being on you for even that brief moment. You never wanted that big cake and that loud singing. Just a whisper in your ear and a hug felt so nice. You were always so content with seeing someone else being the center of attention and you applauding from the sidelines. You’ve always been much better at those one to one encounters where your charm slowly plays out. You’ve sometimes watched this night pass wondering where you are now and where are you headed. Sometimes you’ve wondered what is so great about this day anyway. Why do so many people call you and why do so few people call you this day. Every time you think life is passing you by leaving you stranded and confused.

You sometimes take out old cards and gifts and wondered about those feelings behind them and how people take out time from their busy schedules to do things for you. But you are changing now, aren’t you? Loud singing and big cakes don’t embarrass you any more, even though you wished it all got over very quickly. You now remember to thank everyone who calls you, instead of going red in the face and not knowing what to say. You are also now ok with receiving gifts and this year you even managed to splutter out what you want... You do realize now that it is ok for people to want to give more than just their best wishes. What can I wish for you on this day? I’ve watched you grow up and watched life dance around you in its many forms. I was there with you when you stood on top of that hill and wanted to fly with the eagles.

I was there when you saw the life go out from your uncle’s eyes. I will be there with you till life goes out from your eyes. Until then we have a beautiful life ahead. You’ve been my pride and joy as I hope I have been yours.

Happy 20th Birthday

"I like my whiskey old and my women young" - Errol Flynn

We all know that men and women are wired differently and that sometimes the wrong wiring can set off dangerous sparks . Some wars do not need a reason to be fought , they are just a way of life . Poets and Playwrights have written about this gender grenade since like ages like the eminent John Gray who thinks that men and women are so different that they belong to different planets altogether .
All this due to the ultimate puzzle that civilization still graples with : What does a man want ???
I personally belive that it depends on the phase of life like for example take the dating phase , in this " so called " rose colored dim light phase all he wishes in a women is that she be pretty , soft spoken , careing , tender and be by the side always . Such a " simple dream " isint it ??...
Then , he dates her long enough to relise that he wants to marry her , Now his wish list alters , sometimes even without him being aware of it . He wakes up somedays to find his wife putting butter on the bread as if spanking a new born child, or she is muttering something in her breath as if to give an indication , sometimes i wonder do such categories even exist ? How can a whole planetful of women be so " Illogically " compartmentalised ?
So okay then , lets forget the compartmentalisation . Lets go back to the basic question What does a man want ?
A beautiful , smart , intelligent women with a great sense of humour , who is a good cook , a grand hostess, an efficient multitasker a person who will insure that the chips and the dips are served on a platter exactly when the India Pakistan cricket match begins , who will look after the kids , allow him his boy night out ever so often without calling him on the hour, be sensitive to his moods, and more or less be strong and passionate ... :)
I hav'nt met one person till date who has got everything what he had wished for , however i was talking to a friend of mine Kanika the other day and we were talking how we look towards a relationship , she had her own set of a wish list according to her ... Women are always lookng for a life partner who is a perfect blend of the qualities of Robin Hood and Romeo . A tall, handsome , big , strong , passionate man who never forgets birthdays and anniversaries , who always give up his game of a cricket for a chick flick , or goes shopping and holds the hangers while she tries " 26 " dresses and seven type of jeans. A man who will hush her back to sleep when the baby cries at 3 am and change the diapers himself ( without switching on the lights you see the light spoils her precious sleep ) , belives in supriseing her with expensive gifts on her birthday , leaves love notes around the house and is eternally grateful that she is a part of his life.
This too is a wish list however whatever kanika said to me online didn'nt make any sense to me , in other words it was going over my head later on i kind of thought about it and came to a conclusion or again a wish list ..


Just basic 7 random things that i wish women knew

• BE A SPORT : When a beautiful women walks into sight , Dont sulk about it . Before your boyfriend can say it, you say it " wow what a lovely lady ! " .. trust me there is no harm in appreciateing beauty.



• DO NOT BE A CLOCK-WATCHER : It's the job of of the clock to keep track of the minutes , hours and seconds not the women's when the man is out with his mates . If he is running late there must be good goddamn reason towards it



• RETURN TO REALITY : As a girl , you must have lived out a fairy tale in your mind. All homes were castles, all boys were young princes and the rest . BUT life is not a fairytale. The real world is real, it has a name , a street sign , a house number and every house has a story to it. A real life story is different from a soap opera.



• CRICKET : not the chirping kind but the game many men love and most women have no time for . Spend a little time watching the game ... it aint that bad



• CURRENCY V/S PAPER : This one my friend Ryan will agree on infact besides ryan there will be many others who will agree to me , sometimes it is critical to know the difference between currecny and paper when parting with it when going out for a date or something.



• QUIT THE DISTANCE DRIVING : Could women refrain from distance driving please ? By distance driving I mean telling their boyfriends how to drive while you are belted up in the passenger seat. Driving in Dubai is stressful enough; what makes it worse is when women push their feet against the floor thinking that they will slow down the car . It wont . The breaks are on the other side.



• FORGIVE AND FORGET : When a man forgets an anniversary or some other important date , it is not a " criminal offence ". It is possible that the date didnt ring a bell for some reason or the other. Forget it yaar why cause such an hassle .. !

P.S - I am a very happy commited man .. :)

Its all about the poker tables .. Baby !

My favourite way to pass time ( that is if i have ) these days is to play poker , thanks to Facebook i had initially started as being just an amateur , however i have now reached the advance stages as such ...

Poker has gone through a lot of history with people of varying cultures and social levels that it has transported itself from the traditional to a worldwide tournament. With the new advent of online gameing poker is one of the first casino games to have revenue generateing , simulated game online. Poker is entirely a social game . A poker player tends to develop observation skills of its opponents. Every poker player has mannerisms and personality nuances that would define himself and his game. Every poker player also seems to have a personal strategy and attitude towards the game that a longer a player plays with another they tend to know by instinct each other's possible moves. Online poker however lacks this potentialily . It is said that online poker has become less interactive and less personal , and i agree to that . It has defeated the sociability that the poker game is supposed to thrive on. It has been generally suggessted by a poppulation of online poker gamers that there must be some improvements given to the user interface and the overall arrangement of identity aspect . Facebook has perhaps revamped its Texas Holdem user interface however i personally belive that it is still not upto the mark . Better put , in an online poker game , you cant look at your opponent in the eye and smell fear or manage to glimpse a truimphant smirk that's a giveaway for a good hand .

So how does a professional online poker gamer make do with what’s not there? He/she can instead observe the gaming behavior of the opponent by analyzing the stakes they play with, who usually plays at a particular time, how does he play, when does he bluff, etc. To play poker online is even more challenging with the need to compensate for what’s not there, given that you have to feel the existence of something that would sometimes appear to be too virtual.

Atlantis the only casino that is present in Dubai will be the only place where rich arabs will be either making their fortune or looseing it completely . I hope maybe one day i will make my fortune there and rather being happy with my virtual chips appearing on the screen via facebook

Rabbism...

Rabbi Shergil , thats the only name that has been in my head for the last three or four days , personally i think this guy is great , all his songs touch reality in someway or the other when i saw the video Bilqis i was spell bound....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiGSKT9m9SE&feature=related

Every Indian i belive should watch this , it has a definite meaning he touches reality in the closest manner possible. I thought Jugni was his best song ever but i guess he has crossed all points and borders with bilqis. I bow to the current freedom fighters, This is a very moving soulful song that talks about specific incidents involving some deplorable human rights violations that happened in India over the last few years and asks Indian society to own up to them and do something — There is an acoustic guitar riff of India’s national anthem that is played a few times in the song and used extremely effectively sounds pretty sexy ... ! The first incident (Bilqis) happened during the communal riots in Gujarat circa 2002, and there are mentions of other incidents where individuals (Satyendra Dubey and Manjunath) protesting corruption had to pay the price of protest with their lives. And I do pay Rabbi his share of respect to bring this forth. This is a song of substance and only a real artist can make anything like this. Personally i belive efforts like this is needed , till when will we be supressed by selfish political leaders and Mafia dons ? .. and seriously for what ? .. ! I really respect Rabbi's music though he has not been given credit which he deserves in the Indian music industry but i have a lot of respect for him atleast he doesnt use half naked women in his videos to make them popular not to mention copied melodies to sell his music . His songs are thoughtful and full of substance.

Unlike Daler Mehendi and Mika of all the people he sings songs which actually makes sense , it is like a breeze of fresh wind admist the all-the-same-theme-indian pop songs. Hope this song makes a powerful statement and prove that music can itself mean a social change even in the Indian context ....

Jinhe naaz hai hind par vo kahan the

Jinhe naaz hai vo kahan hain

(( Where are those who are proud of India , who are proud where are they ?? ))