Why is it ?? ..

Why do relationships get so fucked up ?? .... Why is that there is always a clash of egos ?? ... Why is it that she cant relise that i am not ignoreing her ??... Why is it always like that ?? ... Why is it that i am always taken for granted ?? ... Why is it that she cant relise that i care for her ?? .. Why is it that i am missing her right now ?? ... Why is it that i cant stop thinking about her ?? .. Why is it that i have changed ?? .. Why is it that i dont feel the same about her ?? ... Why is that i dont love her anymore ?? ... Why is it that my life has just come to a standstill ?? ... Why is it that i keep on thinking of the past ?? ... Why is it that i feel she is not the right one ?? ... Why is it that i feel this relationship was a mistake ?? .. Why is it that i feel i am lost ?? .Why is it that i am waiting for her call or an sms ??... . Why is it that she cant keep anything to herself what i tell her ?? ... Why is it that i feel she lied to me ?? .. Why is it that i feel that i want to be single ?? .. Why is it i feel there is a need of a break here ?? .. Why is it that i am confused about it ?? Why is it when i feel like talking to her she doesnt want to talk ?? ... Why is it that i feel everything is gone ?? ...Why is it that I have tried my level best in this relationship ..and cant do anything more ?? ... Why is it that i cant be the way i am ?? ... Why is it that i cant be dependent on anyone besides her ?? ... Why is it that i tell her my innermost secrets ?? Why is it that i trust her ?? .. Why is it that she still clings onto her ex ??..Why does she always do it ?? .. Why is this happening anyways ?/ ... Why is it that i love her ?? ... Why is it that she cant talk to me normally ?? .. Why is it that there is always an attitude in her voice always ?? Why is it that i am even thinking about it right now ?... ! Why is it that i feel we were the best when we were friendz ?? .. ! Why is it that i feel that i have no importance for her ?? .. why is it that i feel this relationship is not going anywhere ?? .. Why is it that she cant trust me with my friendz ? why is it that she has a doubt over me alwayz ? .. !

Why Is It ? .. Why Is It ? .. Why is It ? ... Why is It ? .... !!

Marriage ??? Anyone ??

My girlfriend and me had this conversation last night .. !! ..she asked me this question ... "" will you ever leave me ?? ... "" it sounded more like "" i hope you will never leave me ?? "" .. it seems a odd question for me .. ( after completein 9 months a question comein up like this seems pretty off ) ....
anywayz... later on i was havein a smoke .. when i thought about this concept called marriage ..
If being single is on the right side of marriage .... being married is the wrong side of marriage .. then being divorced is on which side ??? .. the right side or the wrong side.. or is it the worst of the two worlds ??
Typically men and women i think go into marriage for myriad of reasons....they go into it for companionship , for sex , for stability or just to legalise ( socially acceptable ) their existing relationships
Why does a married couple decides to go in for a divorce anywayz? if you ask my girlfriend she will tell you that women start to hate all those very things in men which they loved them before marriage ! .. i think people need to go in for a divorce because thingz are not working out as they had planned it / envisaged it ... their relationship is not at the level they would want it to be ( that again could be for a variety of reasons ) this is not to say if the above conditions are met everytime it results in a divorce.
We as human beings are more resilient and adaptive than what we get credit for , we usually like to take all available options before taking the final plunge !! its not
easy taking that final plunge , as its not easy to ending a relationship in which one has invested so much of our time and energy onto it , there is societal pressure more for the women and haveing kids also creates complications.
So if one has had a divorce where does that person stand as compared to her unmarried and married compatriots .... I use the word "" she "" here as an indicative for both men and women .. In an ideal sitchuation and in a free society i feel she is in a better position as compared to the other two. She has had a chance to see life from both sides ( both the best and the worst ) and she is in a position to decide where does she want it to take it from there ?? she may decide to take some time off and not marry for sometime or forever and she may decide to focus on her long lost career without havin to invest time in her relationship!!! ... or she could be smart from her previous experience and know exactly what to look in for a man ( husband / boyfriend ?? ) . She would know exactly what problems crop up after marriage and try to make an agreement on those before marriage . I personally think its a very exciteing crossroad to be in, noone plans to be here but if one does get here one should make the best of the situation....Every situation has its positives and negatives ... the negatives of being in a divorce we very well know .. as it is drilled in our heads by the society and people around us ... however noone tells the positives of the situation to us .....
I say all this in an ideal situation and free society.... I’ll restrict myself to the Indian society because that’s where most of my experiences and interactions are based...... A divorced man is now much more socially acceptable than what was the case even a few years back and if he decides to get married he usually doesn’t face any problems getting remarried......... Usually his ex-wife had some “problems” and the poor man was left with no option but to file for a divorce!..... (I say usually here because I know of some exceptions where I see no reason why those men shouldn’t be happily married)..... Now the divorced man may not have it so easy getting remarried it is definitely not half as hard as the divorced woman......
A divorced woman is still in the process of getting socially acceptable.... I think urban parents are now starting to advice divorce for their daughters who are in marriages that just don’t work......... (Again this is on the basis of my experience and interaction)...... Also young women are more sure of themselves than what they were lets say 10 years back, a single woman with children is not a rare feature anymore....... Women are able to support themselves through their jobs and also her friends network usually jumps into help ........the fact she also gets more than her share of men trying to get “close” to her is always a pain....... It is still difficult for a divorced woman to get married, most cases that I know of .......the women get married to their friends/colleagues whom they have known for some time and who understand that there is more to that woman than just that stamp of divorce!

I think it would be fair to say that it is an indicator of how much a society has evolved by the way it treats a divorced woman..... while we are not as bad as what we 'used to be we still aren’t there as yet.....

Did i loose my religion ?

My parents have subscribed to this magzine called The Outlook ... ! Each issue covers random topics to it like for example last month it was on Politics ... ! there are essayz written by people who are authorities on the topic ... then there are certain other cartoons .. depictinn the topic etc etc...Each issue for me is a refreshingly new experience ... ! the last issue which i read was on Crime ...among the thingz which they had written ... there was Communal Violence which really got my attention .. ! i wanted to write about it from a long period of time however just dint know where to start it ... it is also easy to get negative about the whole thing and then i loose the point altogether

Communal Violence as i understand violence based among other things --- Religion !!
This is something which i have failed to understand for a long time .. !
i have seen people fighting over land , women , money , even television remotes but never over the concept of religion ... But why religion ?? ... We dont even choose our religion .. we kind off inherit our religion at birth from our parents .. But then religion is something we try to hang on closely ... i personally didnt .. ! i never could understand it anywayz .. and gave up on it long time back .. !
Anywayz as i start analyzein it ! .. it is easy to see why communal violence happens

India as our forefathers saw it was alwayz a Secular country where there was no discrimination on the basis of religion. All religions are equal . BUT even after centuries of these religions mingling together i find the minority communities still liveinn in small clustered areas. Most of these dwellings will be haveing one place of worship and most of the shops in the sorrounding areas will be owned by the people of the same community . Depending on where you go ... inter-religious marriges are still frowned upon even by the majority community
Before comeing to Dubai i had no clue about festivals like EID ...
i had no idea as what it is to celebrate eid ... what is the whole history / idea behind it ? ..
Back in India we still dont know too much about each other's festivals even though we have lived with each other for generations . As in a country like ours , where different religions have co-existed for centuries. i would expect current thinking and ideas ( even education ) to draw upon the knowledge and wisdom from all these religions like language for example.
to my mind there is a lack of understanding and knowledge of other religions and how are they different paths to the same ... stupid dumb concept called GOD !!!
It is precisely this ignorance which shows its ugly face in the form of communal violence. Ignorance you see can breed a lot of negative attributes like fear, hatred etc... When we strike violently against someone isint it a act of a combination of hared and fear ? Fear because the other person ability to bring harm to us and hatred because we percieve he has or plans to being harm to us. This ignorance when combined with thingz like lack of economic opportunities , hunger and some mischevious economic leaders , becomes this huge demon which is all ready to spout fire at the other community ... This could take the form of demolishing century old mosques , rapeing nuns , burning clerics alive and even demanding a hindu state

according to me ..there are 2 wayz to stop this kind of violence
1 . by effectively clamping down on the people who do the violence and the people who plan it right to the last fire
2. by education bringing down unemployment
Both solutions are easier said and done and i dont see anything been done or any of these counts
Sometimes i get all cynical and wonder given these conditions why isint there like a major riot each year and at each others religious festivals ???
Last year coz of Ayodhya and Godra riot in Gujrat the kind of nonsense that was dished out in the front pages makes me shiver as i think of what kind of mind does it make to make these statements and what else is that devious mind capable of ???

The other day i was finding some intresting quotes for my sister's project i came across this one...

Harvey Milk, at a 1978 Gay Freedom Day Rally. (Harvey Milk was killed later that year by a fanatic).
"The fact is that more people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, THAT my friends, is true perversion."

Roadside Romeo ... ! blahhh !!

I saw the movie Roadside Romeo yesterday with friendz .. !
I was eagerly waiting for this movie for a very long time .... and yesterday i finally watched it ..
The reason being extremely cool Promos .. awesome 3-D animation ! and + a fact being that its a Yash Raj & Disney co product !! .. personaly i dont give two hoots about yash raj .. i have hated all his films .. ! since childhood .. be it DDLJ or Veer Zaara .. every goddamn movie has just one thing in common .. and that is Romance .. i mean cmonnn .. ! .. think of somethinn else as the theme tooo DUDE !!!
Anywayz I liked it .. and my friend akshay aka maadu agreed with me too .... in short ** we were wagging our tails in appreciation ** :P
though not everyone was convinced by us .. ! suheir and alif hated the film from their heart .. ! maybe coz they dint share the Lame sense of humor as me and akshay do :D
Roadside Romeo is like a normal Hindi Bollywood there is a hero , a heroine , a mandatory villian plus love problems misunderstandings.. !but alls well that ends well can you belive it .. they tried to make a spoof of DDLJ at the end ( the train scene ) .. LOL
The story is about Romeo aka Saif Ali Khan , the quintessential lover dog is thrown onto the streets, where he meets newly found best mutts. Soon enough he bumps into the love of his life...... Laila aka Kareena who happens to be a nightclub performer..... Besides falling in love, the biggest mistake Romeo commits is having rubbed Charlie Anna aka Javed Jaffrey the wrong way...... With a villain to combat and love to win over, the film is all Romeo and tons of heart.
Roadside Romeo in short was not that great movie .... it had the usual compliant of terrible stories ONLY meant for kids .... however this one is quite the opposite ..... So much so that most kids will not understand ...any of the puns ..
CAN you belive it I Found out from this movie that DOGS ALSO MAKE OUT !

With Roadside Romeo indian film makers have taken a giant leap foward and thankx to yash raj films and walt disney studio for being the one to bring INDIA'S 1st ANIMATION FILM !!
its not perfect but nonetheless still great ... had the movie made in live action .. it wouldnt have worked out ... !

Delhi ..... Its my city . !

Yes .. its true New Delhi ... its my city !
I have grown up in this city .. i have recieved all lessons of my life in this city... This city has taught me to co-exist with my neighbours , with nature , with birds , and not to forget the COWS that roam around the streets .. claiming their own ..
It is this city that has taught me to appreciate music , food , arts , the smell of mud as it begins to Rain ..
whenever i go back to New Delhi .. i still see the ruins of century old buildings around me .. !i learn that even the great kings and empires crumble to dust and die never mind you and me . !i thrive in the rich colors and traditions of this city ..
this city teaches me co-existense...it teaches me that there is enough space under the sky for us to live and let live .. !
it teaches me not to get possessive, it lets me go when i am too restless and i promptly come back to it all excited to tell her my experiences about places far and beyond .. !she then sits me down and tells me how centuries back someone had come to her from that far away land and tells me stories of the great battles fought , stories of valor and courage , stories of deciet ..
Just when i thought that i knew all that was to be known about Delhi she opens another chapter of herself to me ..it is almost as if i was in class 2 .... i had thought i had mastered maths by learning how to add and subtract...
Delhi has taught me to keep myself warm in winters and forces me to keep warm in summers inspite of my best efforts.In those hot summer months when i cant sleep because of the heat and i stand in my terrace.. ! and say i give up .. !
Delhi replies with monsoon she deluges me with the torrent of monsoon ...
Can you belive it even the dogs look clean and cared for .. !
Sometimes i feel being here in Dubai and visitin New delhi once or twice a year .. ! that there are a lot of changes that have taken place over few years.... sometimez it feels like a whirlwind and makes my headspin ... It makes me happy to see people getting richer than their own Parents.. but what disturbs me is the enclosed mentality and self serving attitude ....
I see all these malls comeing up and sometimes when i am in one of these malls I have to remind myself that i am in Delhi .. ! not in Dubai Bangkok or the US ...
For me what defines a market are indivudual shops which have character and not the big labels ( Khan Market , Sarojni Nagar , Janpath ) and those faceless shops which could be the same anywhere else in the world under a different name . I feel my city is being colonised by a big retailer while i appreciate the quality and service the big retailer provides. I also feel with the present scenario we could work more with small shops...
Personally for me what sets delhi apart from any other city is the WALLED CITY aka CHANDNI CHOWK . Everytime i go there i loose myself in the myriad of lanes and bylanes, the eating joints .. the breathetakein view of the Red Fort and the Jama masjid which infact is one of the oldest mosques in India. Even though i cant get myself liveinn there ... but i do like to go there whenever its possible for me ...
Even the dialect is soo different in that area ... from the one that is spoken in the malls which is kinda a mix of half hindi .. half english ... half Punjabi .. !
in the last 19 years .. i have noticed many people come to delhi and live their lives and still dont identify themselves as dilliwallas aka Delhiites ... they dont identify themseleves as a citizen of Delhi .. i belive they are still refuges or people in transit ... it reminds me of the dubai airport transit lounge ... one side is the arrivals shedule where everyone seems to hang on while the departure shedule is still a little Fuzzy .. ! Cant call yourself citizens of an airport can you ???

We critize Delhi at the top of the hat ! .. the ""sab chalta hain"" attitude is prevailent in everyone in Delhi .. ! NO electrity , NO water WE the people are ready to fuck Dilli JaL board Upside down for this .. ! WE crib about the mosquites .. wheras we ourselves dont shy away from throwing our garbage in the nearest sewer !! ... ( if not the roads ) ..jumping RED LIGHTS ( its like in fashion .. after SALMAN KHAN did it ) what to talk about ? .. ! stealing electricity etc etc...

WE are the electricity , water and the mosquito killers of this city, It is the people who make the city and destroy it ....Delhi will see us off .. as she has seen off other periods in its history ... the point is how will we be remembered ? . ! will it make us any different from Timur the lame and Chengiz khan ! .. did someone say we have their blood in us .. ! Well it is certainly showing !!! .

The Start Line .... !

Why the title ? ... dont ask me .. random thingz come to my head ... and i just make something out of it .. !
well to be frank this blog is only coz of a pain in the ass ! dude.. who has been a friend to me for the last 7 to 8 years.. ! ..
Sam aka Sampat Rawat ! ...
who has been behind my life to make a blog for myself .. ! ..
finally your nagging for the past few months has got over .. Finally ! ..