A night that started as guy night, didnt end that way.

When you wake up in the morning, you have no clue what the fuck happened last night ?, and you keep questioning it, in all the struggle to regain consciousness you are also trying to search for your shirt, which you had last night, You realize you cant find your shirt, partly because of the massive headache that you have, you hit your toe on the bed, and you shout " Fuck ! aghh ", you hear a grunt from somewhere, its at that moment, you realize that you don't know the people that are sleeping around (Floor,Table, Gas Stove, Washroom) in the apartment, which is actually meant for two people according to the municipality.- That is Milan for you.

P.S - Thank the almighty for inventing coffee, to cure hangovers because they are sometimes so bad that you need a friend (Rohit Bhoite) , to just hold your brain in your skull.# Kyonki har friend zaroori hota hain.

Let Me be Myself ...

Every now and then I need a state of isolation or maybe term it as seclusion, however these things dont really come out of the blue or something, its just that once in a month or so i would like to be alone to figure out a lot of things on my own, to explore the city on my own, to live it my own. I spoke to a classmate of mine about this, as she also felt the same way as me, since the time she has shifted base to Milan. She wants to be just alone, stare at a ceiling or something similar, staring point blank at a ceiling can freak out people who are around you, and thats perhaps why i dont do that, her reason is quite a lame one, according to her she wants this solitude from life and others around her because she just had a breakup with her boyfriend, for me i think of it as a physical solitude where you are forcing yourself to numerous attempts in order to remove distractions from life and probably concentrate on something else, that can be a bigger priority in life. kya lauda lasoon hain yeh ? .. complete behenchodgiri !

Why for one person stop your life, and come to a standstill as if there is nothing more left, it might have mind-fucked for you to talk /think/speak about that person but till when can you do that ? .. There will be a point where you have to get out of that comfort zone with a loud BANG !

There is nothing to be reminded off, till the time you are not an emotional fool to fall for it every single time, this mind is a dangerous weapon it does have its moments where it tries to wander around the same things again and again. If that person was meant to really come back, he or she would have come back, but then you cant really count your life on it, its too big a hassle and a much bigger head-ache than being single and living happy the way you want it, being single doesnt really mean to not date anyone, it is just an act where you seem to be in a relationship for yourself, but nothing more than that, it is just what you want at that particular moment not anything more and not anything less. The problems are when you talk of relationships, they dont really make sense to me, they are beautiful in their own way, but honestly the dating part is better where you dont seem to be emotionally attached with each other, that you are scared to say anything because it might seem to hurt another person.

You do have a super - duper life dont you ? I say super-duper life solely because the world has not ended, there are countless people you eventually meet, some good and some gandu ! , but all in all , it just teaches you important lessons in life which are supposed to be taken as lessons so as to not to commit them the next time something similar happens.

Probably take life as it comes, do things you always wanted to do, but couldn't because of your crappy commitments to other things, give your friends the importance they should be given because they will eventually be the ones who will be around for your tattoo art on your shoulder blades, for the numerous piercings on your body, for the times that you fall sick, for the times they want to drink, for the times you always want to have fun, for the times where you seem to be enjoying life to the max.

I always remember this song called Let me be myself - 3 doors down, infact me and Gozde do listen to it quite a lot these days, Gozde is the girl whom i work with these days with my present project, yes the beautiful eyes girl ...

Please, Would you one time let me be myself , So that i can shine with my own light ... let me be myself.....

These are the kind of lyrics that help you to get on with it, and do things that you always wanted to do, but didnt ................. coz you had to be answerable to someone.

Dreams .. What a fuck up !

Off-late i have been getting like very weird dreams with different scenarios, with different people ... and i swear i have been waking up every morning with a shocked expression on my face.

I had to tell someone, I had to discuss it with someone because now there is a problem i dont anymore get women doing awesome things to each other in my dreams.... So i wrote a post to Rohit and explained him the situation on Facebook, this is just a copy of that letter, i had tagged Natasha and Aditi as well since they too were in my dreams ...

Dude, Even though you have time to talk to your other friends and like totally ignore you give like a goli to me and Natasha Aggarwal , but then i have to tell you about this

Anyway, I had like the weirdest dream last night, it was like 2020 you and Aditi Sharma were like dating ( haha, told you it couldnt be weirder than this you had white hair and you had kids running across all over India and Italy and Dubai .. and London calling , Dad Dad .! ) You were driving the car , and me and natasha were like on the back seat , Aditi was angry with you because she wanted to get married to you couldn't get married , coz of your pending criminal investigation or something, and the fact that you will go to jail very soon. You had done like a major "catch me if you can" thing with the cops in Europe, so you couldnt get married to Aditi because aditi's parents didn't approve of it coz of you know your criminal investigation, you wanted to give yourself up to the cops but you felt Natasha was a undercover cop herself , and you were her friend, soo you felt police is in your pocket ...

Aditi suspected you were having an affair with Natasha, I had suspected it too coz that was like the only reason you were not behind bars, You knew i knew, I knew you knew .. so like chalta hain yaar types attitude tha...

but then you got angry for a reason , we were on the mountains, you were fed up of Aditi , you were fed of Natasha, well you were not fed up of me...

You put the car in 5th gear , drove it at a high speed.. and killed all of us by jumping of the mountain ... *asshole*

How dramatic .. ! hahahah

The Glitches of Life...

To Delete from Facebook - Done

To Delete from Dubai - Done

To Delete from every phone - Done

To Delete from Family - Done

To Delete from Blackberry - Done

To Delete from Life - Done

To Delete from Aditi. Rohit and Natasha - Done

Listening to Aditi and Deleting from everywhere around and concentrate on Laura - Done

When things are so awesome, then why ? .. Why create complications ? ... Chill maar yaar !

Delete from Blogspot.com ? --- I cant (honestly, i tried i Google'd enough ,but due to some technical snags I cant) , Can you please ? ..

Extreme Randomness

Inst. Design exam tomorrow , not prepared for it at all, and who could i blame it on ?...

This New Years festive season .. Nooo Nooo .. how can i do that ...

Maybe its the the Nuclear Annexation of Iraq , The Americans , The Scotch that i am having ? Do i really care ?.. I dont ... i "loouveee" this ..

BTW I saw a dukhbhari khani on Facebook a while back , and guess what there were 45 comments over it trying to calm the poor spirit of her misery, but who am i to say anything ... like GTA 4 says it .."One Love Niggaa "

Social Networking is like the latest fad ? Wasnt it like the families the social networks and Aunties the newsfeeds ? but then who really cares again .. Facebook is like a discussion of mutual problems , life problems , matters regarding the house maid etc... Phones are no longer in use for such discussions its like old technology ishtyle. FB is the new technology Ishtyle .. :)

My dad is like a complete genius today , he left a bottle on the table today , not that i cant drink but then whose eyes wouldnt sparkle if one saw a bottle on the table , marked Chivas Regal ?... Temme seriously.. Temme.. i had plans to go out and get printouts as well for tomorrow , but then kuch paane ke liye kuch khona bhi padta hain .. :)

Crossing One's Tea...

I dont know what you are addicted to , but off late i am addicted to Tea . It is a fact that i think i do have very few friends, and when you really need to talk to someone, i think over cigarettes and Tea is like the best thing. Sammy and Ryan would know better. Personally any kind of Tea would do for me - be it Green Tea , White Tea , Herbal Tea or my favourite Disco Chai. No you dont start dancing after having it its just a name given to a Tea by some Mallu Cafe nearby.It is funny how an Indian sitting in Dubai is writing about something that the Chinese discovered and the Japanese added flavour to. The reason being that i am so fed up of my portfolio that i am surfing endlessly on various sites on Tea out of all things possible.:S

Anyways it is believed that the Chinese discovered tea when some tea leaves accidentally fell into a pot of boiling water. Now my question is – who threw in the milk and sugar?
I am not the only one who is addicted to tea of any kind. Over the years, Indian culture & customs have been influenced by tea. Customs were influenced less by tea and more by tea smugglers, Lol.

It is said that an American improvised on tea and came up with the concept of “Iced Tea.” What beats me is that they did it in 1904 (at the 1904 World Fair St. Louis) when refrigerators were not available in a normal household. And even if refrigerators were available ….how did some random tea leaves fly into a refrigerator? Wasn’t the refrigerator door closed?
Americans live by improvising. Besides the telephone, I know of nothing that has been invented (or discovered) by the Americans. Why…they needed Christopher Colombus, an Italian sailor working for a Spanish queen, to discover their own country – the Americas!

Maybe you aren’t aware of this….in the United States of America, 90% of the tea consumed is black. And in India and Dubai 90% of the tea consumed is white (with milk that is). Ironic isn’t it - white men having black tea and black men having white tea?

According to the tea historian, whose article I have been reading for the time being , after becoming popular in China, Japan and America….tea started filtering into Europe in the 17th century. Now, my question is….if tea was all filtered…how did the Europeans ever get the tea leaves? And what a big filter it should have been. The one that I use in my house to filter tea into the tea cup has a diameter of ten centimeters.
In Europe, tea first filtered into Holland and France. In Holland it is popular to this day, but in France wine has taken over. There were a few benefits that wine offered over and above tea, and we are not talking about the alcohol content.
Some of the differences that the French saw before they shifted away from tea are:
• Wine didn’t need a heating unit

• Wine didn’t need to be filtered

• Wine didn’t need milk to be added

After such a long, boring article….if only someone can make me a cup of tea...

When i got online...

It must be 5 or 6 years back that i might have used the internet for the 1st time, it was kind of cool in school days , having your own Email and all ... though it sounds pretty lame now as a my cousin who is 5 years old has her own Email Id , thats Narayani Bhatnagar for you , elders though tell me that i was a brat when i was a kid (am i still one ?), wait till you meet her .. Anyways back to the topic , i remember i had initially had started chatting in chat rooms via Yahoo! Messenger havin the most cheeziest of id nicks buzzing_around2002@yahoo.co.in (yeah you can laugh over it but its better than coolboy, or hotboy or angelgirl)... Today I logged onto my account after like a year or so. Yahoo! has this unique feature of automatically saving all your past conversations online, that is if you would have used yahoo! messenger.

The Net was just right for me. I could lie , I could pretend i could say anything to anyone.

Here are few transcripts that actually took place about 5 years ago.

Vital Info- My Id is buzzing_around2002

6.30 p.m.

buzzing_around2002: Hi

pleazemeetme: ASL pls

buzzing_around2002:What…?

pleazemeetme: Are you a guy or a girl?

buzzing_around2002: Guy. Why?

pleazemeetme: Fuck off you punk. !!

Later I would come to know that pleazemeetme was a guy looking for a girl.

6.45 p.m.
buzzing_around2002: Hi

meetmeinheaven: asl?

buzzing_around2002: You mean sex?

meetmeinheaven: Yes. How did you know what I was thinking?

buzzing_around2002: Just like that. I am a guy.

meetmeinheaven: Then why do you want to have sex with me?

buzzing_around2002: When did I say that?

meetmeinheaven:Buzz off you fruit cake (incase you did not know, it means a homo i got to know that later)

This guy was desperate.

7.00 p.m.
buzzing_around2002: asl?

pinky190479: 15/F/Lukhnow

buzzing_around2002: whats that?

pinky190479: My asl dumbo.

buzzing_around2002: Does asl mean age, sex and location?

pinky190479: Yes. Guess you are too dumb. Bye.

buzzing_around2002: No…no.. I am new to chat.

pinky190479: That’s fine. Bye.

By now, I had smartened up and realized that on the net the guys are looking for girls. And girls too are looking for girls.

7.15 p.m
radhika_kumar (BTW, this is me): Hi

jaya_bisht79:hi

radhika_kumar: asl?

jaya_bisht79: 18/F/Nanital (UP)

radhika_kumar: Cool.

jaya_bisht79: Your asl?

radhika_kumar: 18/F/New Delhi

jaya_bisht79: Thats neat.

radhika_kumar: So what do you do?

jaya_bisht79: I am a student doing Commerce with Maths.

radhika_kumar: I cannot believe my luck. My brother is into science and he wants to shift to commerce. He had some doubts.

jaya_bisht79: What kind?

radhika_kumar: If it is worth everything, salary expected …you know that kind. If it is ok with you, shall I give him your id?

jaya_bisht79: Hm….fine. Should not be a problem. Is he online?

radhika_kumar: No he is not online now. I just called him up and gave him your id. BTW, his yahoo id is buzzing_around2002

jaya_bisht79: No hassles.

radhika_kumar: That is really nice of you. He will get in touch with you shortly. I will log off now , takecare bye bye .

Fifteen minutes after I logged off, I logged in again, this time as buzzing_around2002. We struck the right chord. She is still my chat friend and keeps enquiring about my sister Radhika Kumar,though we speak rarely nowadays

I Love you ....... (Yes i am waiting for a reply)

Gone are the days when " I love you " would actually evoke a reply from my girlfriend. I say echo because she used to give me this romantic look and reply "I love you too". Now i can say it comes under the concept of "Purani yaadien". Now that we have been dating for like a year now, things seem to be changing a bit. We have our usual fights but alls well, we patch up in like an hour of ( no talking , no smses to each other ) . I love you no longer gives me those romantic looks, they no longer get me the similar feeling if not, similar sounding words....
I wouldn't have put it up for the world to see (not that people don't have any other work other than to check blogs) if it had not been for what happened today afternoon, I was studying and she had called me, this is how our conversation went ..
Aakriti: Hey
Me:Hi wats up?
Aakriti: Nothing much .. just been busy with the coming up examz .. Eco Sucks !!
Me: Umm yeah it does ...
Aakriti: How are you coping up with your examz ?
Me: Pretty good ..
Aakriti: Are you free for 3 hours tomorrow ?
Me: It depends .. anywayz whatz the plan ?
Aakriti: No i plan to go to the creek and study
Me:huh ?
Aakriti: Umm yeah i will study there our purana aada .. will you come ?
Me: I dont know .. not sure..
Aakriti: OK BYE ! i have to study
Me: Hmm ... bye i have to study too .. Love you ..
**** The phone got Disconnected this convo must have lasted for like barely few minutes and thats how it had to really end ...

There was a time when my "I love you" had positive responses, so much that i had to give a call to Alfiya or Saniya to tell them that i will be somewhat late to class, which eventually i used to never go for. Over the past one year, the responses that i have actually got from her have been quite dwindling. Here is a list of responses that i have got from her

IMPORTANT- We started dating "Officially" on 11th December 2007

January 11th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: I love you too

March 22nd 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: You look good when you wear your black Kurta ..
Me: :S

June 18th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: I am missing you .. :(

July 29th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: You have to quit smoking its been 3 months i have been telling you this...

September 18th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: You have to quit smoking its been 5 months now ... 6 cigarettes per day now -- PERIOD !!

November 24th 2008
Me:I love you
Aakriti: Hey isin't your Bday coming soon ??

December 17th 2008
Me: I love you
Aakriti: Umm yeah uhhh.... (yawn) .. me too !

January 5th 2009
Me: I love you
Aakriti : I am sorry i wont be able to meet you in the evening as i have to study.. ( Bullshit ) ... and then my parents will be at home so i wont be able to call you either anywayz... take care Bye ..! ..

(And now as i am guessing ... )
January 1st 2015
Me: I love you ..
Aakriti: So ??? ...

So much for Relationships ...
A quick question before i bid adieu and go again working on my Residential Design Portfolio ...
Question: If your girlfriend puts poison on her boyfriends pea soup how will he die ?
Answer: Peas-fully .... Lmao

Yes i take immense pleasure and appreciation for my lameness .. :p

Thank God it's Friday ?

'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy' - is a saying we are all familiar with. And if you can instantly relate to Jack you know you have been working too hard and need to take a break.

A break? Are you kidding? Ask those working in a 24x7 setup – which is practically everywhere i guess and all you’ll get in response is a look of disbelief. Alarmingly, the people of the fastest rising economy in the world don't have time to sit back and relax. Unrealistic targets, enhanced matrices and tempting incentives coupled with never-ending quest for perfection is pushing us into working round-the-clock – with no time for leisure (Yes this is where my craving for Foosball comes in..)
The duration of a weekend has declined from two complete days to just one or maybe half a day now, which usually starts as late as Friday night (I prefer to sleep on a Thursday afternoon after college) and doesn’t really continue till Saturday evening because your phone keeps ringing due to something or the other or the tensions of submissions. Before the TGIF feeling can sink in, there is a fleeting sensation of the arriving Monday blues, or in my present case Sunday blues. The work, the environment and the week, which in most of the cases is an ordeal, is too prominent in the minds of people to let go for these two days.

I had 4 days to complete the goddamn portfolio though its almost complete but still not done up to my expectations, every time i think that i might complete my work over the weekend somehow i just don't complete it. (Can't blame anyone i was too lazy earlier ... ) My weekend mood starts from Friday afternoon and even the shops close earlier in my area than usual on that day. People here are living (Friday) happy and contended lives without the luxury of having housemaids, cooks, cleaners, drivers etc...(Yes my maid takes an off on a Friday and decides to chill out)

Look at my mom for example weekends for her are meant to be Fridays and Saturdays and as soon as the weekend arrives, she switches off her mobiles, Blackberry’s, laptops and doesn't really work unless absolutely necessary. Despite me taken up a course what i always wanted to do or maybe didn't now BA (Interior Design) being pretty clear with my working hours, i end up stretching everyday and even on weekends. Regardless of how much i love (or hate) my work or how much the 24x7 work culture has sink into us Indians, everyone does need some ‘me time’ i guess...

Just like there is a time for everything in life, there is a time for leisure and recreation. Recreational activities provide that much-needed balance and positive energy to our lives without which we would burn out in no time. Have you ever thought about this you end up in a tiff with your girlfriend ONLY on weekends. No i am serious in my case its always like that, still yeah whatever i am committed .. :).... (never really mention your frustrations on your relationships over the Internet past experiences haven't been good).... I still love you Aakriti :)

Before i continue my mindless blah ! about how screwed your weekends can be i am off to rediscover the art and the entertainment of the PLAYSTATION 2 ... adios

P.S - Everyone should really check out the new Need for speed - Undercover ... now that's a game that can really test your driving skills ....

The Punjabi's Of Delhi...

Sometime back i had got a mail from a friend of mine , i had thought of publishing it here but for some reason it just went of my mind and i completely forgot about it ....

Read and Enjoy ...

A is for Adjust. Punjabis will always ask you to 'adjust' whenever they want to push you around!

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum, it is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever!

C is for Cloney and its not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its first name George. It is merely an area where people live, e.g., "Defence Cloney"!

D is for Dudh: the rich ' Punjab diyaan dudh-lassiyan' give nouveau riche Punjabi kids their round shapes!

E is for the Expanditure Punjabis incur on acquiring the latest cars, gadgets, marble floors …!

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like an obscenity, it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course!)

G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his guddi puts any F1 driver to shame. (If the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there's no way Hamilton , Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder or Sukhvinder!)

H is for Ho Jayega Ji, and the moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it's not going to happen!

I is for Injaayment, which is the raison d'etre of most Punjabis! J is for the Jwaeller's, where Punjabis visit regularly to buy their jwaellry!

K is for Kake Di Hatti, which was Delhi 's most famous Punjabi restaurant in the 1970's!

L is for Lovely, but unfortunately he almost never is!

M is for Mrooti, the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with!

N is for No Problem Ji. To find out how that works see H.

O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy ...!)

P is for Panj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you, he always says he'll reach you in panj mint!

Q is for Queue, which any self-respecting Punjabi would never stoop to join: it's so much quicker to cut in to the front, reciting the names of all the VIP's he knows!

R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if the odds are against him!

S is for Sweetie, Bunty, Pappu and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in Delhi !

T is for the official bird of Punjab : Tandoori Chicken!

U is for Ulloo De Patthay, Punjab 's only 'clean' gaali!

V is for VIP's who Punjabis are always in awe of and schmoozing!

W is for Whan, as in "Whan are you coming, ji?"

X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in all Punjabi conversations!

Y is for "You nonsense", when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting match!

Z is for Zigzag (Please refer to G, M and P!)

Delhi ... My First Love

What is it about this City that drags me to it ? What is about this city that i am always attracted towards it ? Today morning me , Ria and Vikrant decided to check out historical monuments around, call us jobless , wella or whatever you feel like , i agree to whatever you say because you branding us as jobless is justified. Our 1st destination today was Tuglaq Fort, As i drove past the ramparts of the Tuglaq fort, i somehow was so awed by this majestic fort that i came back and parked my car near the entrance. As i strolled through the the steepy curvy lane to a huge courtyard, my mind was racing towards history. As a part of boosting tourism in the state thanks to Delhi CM Shiela Dixit the place was very clean. After i read the history in one of the red cornerstones, I was curious to explore the place . The Ramparts have lent a sepia touch to the whole building, it seems everything has a fading touch to it. It seems you are still in the beginning of the 19th century. The small rooms, audience halls, solid bastions, underground chambers, and carvings, all made for a very intresting expedition. But as me Vicky and Ria decided to explore more and reached the highest point of the fort, we were amazed on seeing this part of the city as well. On the South were an expansive green cover and another big tomb. On the West was the Qutab Minar , and the North were civilization and the Lotus Temple shining as bright as it could, and on the east was Industrialisation which Vicky said it stretches till the Yamuna ends , Ria went to one corner and decided to scream " I love Delhi " ... weird female i tell you , though besides Vicky me and Ria dont exactly live in Delhi anymore but still this female has got its love for Delhi to the extreme.

We decided to bid adieu to the fort and proceed towards the Jama Masjid , as when i come to Delhi i do increase my weight , maybe you can call me a Glutton, no matter what time it is the hunger pangs always take me and Vicky to the ever tempting Walled City. From the Chole Bature of the Nai Sadak to the Kebabs of Jama Masjod area , everything about that area is enthralling. We decided to have a bird eyes view of the masjid , at first the Ria declined as she has a major problem with heights but yeah she gathered courage later on and agreed to come with us. We climbed 130 steps of the minaret. ( Damn... i was exhausted when we reached the top i guess i have to really reduce my smoking ) As we reached the top my eyes widened. The whole city was beneath me. Everything was so cramped about the Walled city and at the same time everything seemed so massive about the Red Fort. No wonder this city was the capital of the Mughul Empire till 1857. The view was a feast to the eyes. As i gasped " Man i love Delhi its simply amazing " . Ria corrected me saying " Dilli ... I love Dilli "

It was already 5 in the evening when we decided to go back towards South Delhi. We decided to go towards the Parliament area , with absolutely nothing to do in the evenings , Delhiites prefer to go towards India Gate. I personally believe that most Delhiites like to kill time . A famous picnic spot for many, where they bring chattai along with food and play Antakshari. Here i come to walk with Ria and Anu sometimes as this is where we had initially met. The place is the liveliest part the city during the evening time. I drove till the gate of Rashtrapati Bhavan, the 3 of us shared a smoke and looked at the view from there. It was breath-taking. Two avenues made by pole lights were ending at the India Gate, dazzling in yellow. That moment was misty and surreal and again i gasped " I love Delhi " ....

Our Netas are us...

Since the time i have landed in New Delhi there is a new buzz in this town and i dont blame it . The Mumbai Blasts have created a huge tension among the people everywhere, infact my conversation with almost everyone here is just about this and nothing else, it is by far the most fucked national security problem that the country has faced till now since the last 60 years of its independence. The usual Sms's are doing its rounds ---> We have dealt with the men who came in boats, now we should deal with the men who come in with Votes ; lets hope Chandibaram will bring down the terrorism like the way he brought down the stock market. Never before has the Indian Political Class as a whole been so fucked by the citizens as after the Mumbai terror attack.

The anger directed at our politicians is inevitable and justified; there is profound sense of betrayel by a political leadership .

The token resignation of some netas some effected in the face of shameless reluctance to demit office will do nothing to assuage public anger which is only too aware that those shown the door will be replaced by the same moronic clones of the same genetic stripe : 100% promise 0% performance. I am not saying this just for the heck of it , facts prove it . Snubbed by the father of the NSG commando killed in action, the Kerela CM said " even a dog would not have visited the Unnikrishnan house had it not been that of a martyr " . I personally would say its more the pity that it had to be the commando and not the CM himself as the martyr . Not to be outdone in the in the " Most Tasteless Remark of the Year Award " Deputy CM of Mumbai R R Patil said " Yeh toh bas ek chotha sa hadsa tha " . I am more than happy that he has given his resignation coz of his ABSOLUTE inability of handling the situation , the most shocking part is after the whole 3 day debacle with the terrorists at the Taj and The Oberois , the CM of Mumbai Vilasrao Deshmukh brings along Ram Gopal Verma as his private guest to view the devastation in the hotel for a new movie proposal (you see the incident has just happened recently and it will be fresh on the minds of the people so why not a movie at this time it could be a major hit)

Our Political class as a whole are assholes they are arrogant , flagarantly self serving and utterly derelict in fulfilling its most basic duties and responsibilities to those who have voted it into existance. Which is us . And there lies the rub . In a democracy even a deeply fucked democracy like ours where the ballot box every year should be renamed as the bribery box we are as responsible for our political leaders as they are supposed to be for us but are not , as tragic evidence only clearly shows .

I sometimes wonder why is that India can produce world class scientists,doctors,artistes,philosophers,scholars not to forget soldiers (whose heroism is all too often sacrificed on the altar of political drama) but a generic political class that can be graded as 3rd grade, if that ?... Could it be that other professions demand skills and dedication that reflect what might be called our highest common denominator, the profession of Indian Politics reflects our lowest common denominator ?

In a democracy , politicians are what we, the people, choose to make of them. If our politicains are corrupt and drunk in the name of power is it not because we ourselves have made them this way , first by electing them to power and then by seeking boons from them as one would do from a powerful diety ?

We will vote not for the most deserving, or efficient, or honest, of candidates but for the one who, for reasons of caste or other considerations, is the most likely to grant us favours in the form of jobs, reservations, government contracts, string-pulling, out-of-turn LPG connections, attendance with much fanfare and security bandobast at our family weddings or other functions.

It is time that these old idiotic morons give way to new faces who have credibility and ability to do something for this country and not for themselves like my father always says " Yeh aaj kal Pilot, Rahul Gandhi jaise launde dekhna ek din kuch karke dikhayenge "

If our politicians are the parasitic monsters that we accuse them of being, it's because we have helped to make them that way. By all means we see the ugly and unacceptable face of Indian politics. But let's realise that it's the same face we see in the mirror every morning.

Birthday Blues

It is that time of the year again. That time of the year, which you’ve always wished, was bypassed. You were always so embarrassed by the thought of the spotlight being on you for even that brief moment. You never wanted that big cake and that loud singing. Just a whisper in your ear and a hug felt so nice. You were always so content with seeing someone else being the center of attention and you applauding from the sidelines. You’ve always been much better at those one to one encounters where your charm slowly plays out. You’ve sometimes watched this night pass wondering where you are now and where are you headed. Sometimes you’ve wondered what is so great about this day anyway. Why do so many people call you and why do so few people call you this day. Every time you think life is passing you by leaving you stranded and confused.

You sometimes take out old cards and gifts and wondered about those feelings behind them and how people take out time from their busy schedules to do things for you. But you are changing now, aren’t you? Loud singing and big cakes don’t embarrass you any more, even though you wished it all got over very quickly. You now remember to thank everyone who calls you, instead of going red in the face and not knowing what to say. You are also now ok with receiving gifts and this year you even managed to splutter out what you want... You do realize now that it is ok for people to want to give more than just their best wishes. What can I wish for you on this day? I’ve watched you grow up and watched life dance around you in its many forms. I was there with you when you stood on top of that hill and wanted to fly with the eagles.

I was there when you saw the life go out from your uncle’s eyes. I will be there with you till life goes out from your eyes. Until then we have a beautiful life ahead. You’ve been my pride and joy as I hope I have been yours.

Happy 20th Birthday

"I like my whiskey old and my women young" - Errol Flynn

We all know that men and women are wired differently and that sometimes the wrong wiring can set off dangerous sparks . Some wars do not need a reason to be fought , they are just a way of life . Poets and Playwrights have written about this gender grenade since like ages like the eminent John Gray who thinks that men and women are so different that they belong to different planets altogether .
All this due to the ultimate puzzle that civilization still graples with : What does a man want ???
I personally belive that it depends on the phase of life like for example take the dating phase , in this " so called " rose colored dim light phase all he wishes in a women is that she be pretty , soft spoken , careing , tender and be by the side always . Such a " simple dream " isint it ??...
Then , he dates her long enough to relise that he wants to marry her , Now his wish list alters , sometimes even without him being aware of it . He wakes up somedays to find his wife putting butter on the bread as if spanking a new born child, or she is muttering something in her breath as if to give an indication , sometimes i wonder do such categories even exist ? How can a whole planetful of women be so " Illogically " compartmentalised ?
So okay then , lets forget the compartmentalisation . Lets go back to the basic question What does a man want ?
A beautiful , smart , intelligent women with a great sense of humour , who is a good cook , a grand hostess, an efficient multitasker a person who will insure that the chips and the dips are served on a platter exactly when the India Pakistan cricket match begins , who will look after the kids , allow him his boy night out ever so often without calling him on the hour, be sensitive to his moods, and more or less be strong and passionate ... :)
I hav'nt met one person till date who has got everything what he had wished for , however i was talking to a friend of mine Kanika the other day and we were talking how we look towards a relationship , she had her own set of a wish list according to her ... Women are always lookng for a life partner who is a perfect blend of the qualities of Robin Hood and Romeo . A tall, handsome , big , strong , passionate man who never forgets birthdays and anniversaries , who always give up his game of a cricket for a chick flick , or goes shopping and holds the hangers while she tries " 26 " dresses and seven type of jeans. A man who will hush her back to sleep when the baby cries at 3 am and change the diapers himself ( without switching on the lights you see the light spoils her precious sleep ) , belives in supriseing her with expensive gifts on her birthday , leaves love notes around the house and is eternally grateful that she is a part of his life.
This too is a wish list however whatever kanika said to me online didn'nt make any sense to me , in other words it was going over my head later on i kind of thought about it and came to a conclusion or again a wish list ..


Just basic 7 random things that i wish women knew

• BE A SPORT : When a beautiful women walks into sight , Dont sulk about it . Before your boyfriend can say it, you say it " wow what a lovely lady ! " .. trust me there is no harm in appreciateing beauty.



• DO NOT BE A CLOCK-WATCHER : It's the job of of the clock to keep track of the minutes , hours and seconds not the women's when the man is out with his mates . If he is running late there must be good goddamn reason towards it



• RETURN TO REALITY : As a girl , you must have lived out a fairy tale in your mind. All homes were castles, all boys were young princes and the rest . BUT life is not a fairytale. The real world is real, it has a name , a street sign , a house number and every house has a story to it. A real life story is different from a soap opera.



• CRICKET : not the chirping kind but the game many men love and most women have no time for . Spend a little time watching the game ... it aint that bad



• CURRENCY V/S PAPER : This one my friend Ryan will agree on infact besides ryan there will be many others who will agree to me , sometimes it is critical to know the difference between currecny and paper when parting with it when going out for a date or something.



• QUIT THE DISTANCE DRIVING : Could women refrain from distance driving please ? By distance driving I mean telling their boyfriends how to drive while you are belted up in the passenger seat. Driving in Dubai is stressful enough; what makes it worse is when women push their feet against the floor thinking that they will slow down the car . It wont . The breaks are on the other side.



• FORGIVE AND FORGET : When a man forgets an anniversary or some other important date , it is not a " criminal offence ". It is possible that the date didnt ring a bell for some reason or the other. Forget it yaar why cause such an hassle .. !

P.S - I am a very happy commited man .. :)

Its all about the poker tables .. Baby !

My favourite way to pass time ( that is if i have ) these days is to play poker , thanks to Facebook i had initially started as being just an amateur , however i have now reached the advance stages as such ...

Poker has gone through a lot of history with people of varying cultures and social levels that it has transported itself from the traditional to a worldwide tournament. With the new advent of online gameing poker is one of the first casino games to have revenue generateing , simulated game online. Poker is entirely a social game . A poker player tends to develop observation skills of its opponents. Every poker player has mannerisms and personality nuances that would define himself and his game. Every poker player also seems to have a personal strategy and attitude towards the game that a longer a player plays with another they tend to know by instinct each other's possible moves. Online poker however lacks this potentialily . It is said that online poker has become less interactive and less personal , and i agree to that . It has defeated the sociability that the poker game is supposed to thrive on. It has been generally suggessted by a poppulation of online poker gamers that there must be some improvements given to the user interface and the overall arrangement of identity aspect . Facebook has perhaps revamped its Texas Holdem user interface however i personally belive that it is still not upto the mark . Better put , in an online poker game , you cant look at your opponent in the eye and smell fear or manage to glimpse a truimphant smirk that's a giveaway for a good hand .

So how does a professional online poker gamer make do with what’s not there? He/she can instead observe the gaming behavior of the opponent by analyzing the stakes they play with, who usually plays at a particular time, how does he play, when does he bluff, etc. To play poker online is even more challenging with the need to compensate for what’s not there, given that you have to feel the existence of something that would sometimes appear to be too virtual.

Atlantis the only casino that is present in Dubai will be the only place where rich arabs will be either making their fortune or looseing it completely . I hope maybe one day i will make my fortune there and rather being happy with my virtual chips appearing on the screen via facebook

Rabbism...

Rabbi Shergil , thats the only name that has been in my head for the last three or four days , personally i think this guy is great , all his songs touch reality in someway or the other when i saw the video Bilqis i was spell bound....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiGSKT9m9SE&feature=related

Every Indian i belive should watch this , it has a definite meaning he touches reality in the closest manner possible. I thought Jugni was his best song ever but i guess he has crossed all points and borders with bilqis. I bow to the current freedom fighters, This is a very moving soulful song that talks about specific incidents involving some deplorable human rights violations that happened in India over the last few years and asks Indian society to own up to them and do something — There is an acoustic guitar riff of India’s national anthem that is played a few times in the song and used extremely effectively sounds pretty sexy ... ! The first incident (Bilqis) happened during the communal riots in Gujarat circa 2002, and there are mentions of other incidents where individuals (Satyendra Dubey and Manjunath) protesting corruption had to pay the price of protest with their lives. And I do pay Rabbi his share of respect to bring this forth. This is a song of substance and only a real artist can make anything like this. Personally i belive efforts like this is needed , till when will we be supressed by selfish political leaders and Mafia dons ? .. and seriously for what ? .. ! I really respect Rabbi's music though he has not been given credit which he deserves in the Indian music industry but i have a lot of respect for him atleast he doesnt use half naked women in his videos to make them popular not to mention copied melodies to sell his music . His songs are thoughtful and full of substance.

Unlike Daler Mehendi and Mika of all the people he sings songs which actually makes sense , it is like a breeze of fresh wind admist the all-the-same-theme-indian pop songs. Hope this song makes a powerful statement and prove that music can itself mean a social change even in the Indian context ....

Jinhe naaz hai hind par vo kahan the

Jinhe naaz hai vo kahan hain

(( Where are those who are proud of India , who are proud where are they ?? ))

Resting on the Seabed ...

So its lost ... My cellphone has been lost , it is the 6th time i might be replacing my cellphone, it feels good though no more sms's no more calls nothing...but at the same time i feel handicapped like yesterday night when it was planned that the usual sneak out plan in the night would be on ... the usual smoking bouts that me and Ryan share , however it felt odd when i was driving to his place i thought to myself if anyone wakes up at my place and bother to give a call to find out where am i , how will they do that ? .. :S
Anyways i am thankful to Suheir Khalid aka moti , my closest of friends who has been there for me for a long time and hopefully i can meet her again today before she leaves for Banglore tomorrow morning. It was she the ultimate hyper women who managed to throw my cell deep inside the sea . Can you belive it i saw it going right in front of me ! well it was kind of funny when Suheir started crying ,though i wasnt pissed about it as it was expected out of me ... ! coz it was done by Suheir and not by any other person as such.
Wouldnt ever probably forget this day when it all happened , the Burdubai creek has been a nice place to all of us namely Ram , Ryan , Alif and off course Suheir , the last incident being Marlboro Lights which had to be rescued by me and Ram unfortunately Ram wasn't there otherwise we could have devised some plan to rescue the cellphone as well..:P
I am back to the Apple I phone , the one i hated with all my heart , i am back to lines getting disconnected without any oblivious reasons , i am back to complicated applications , and i am back to the phone where you hear things as if every goddamn person is under water today .
Well gotta be used to that now , for the time being till i buy something that comes under the brand called NOKIA

.......

""I have promised myself that i wont ever miss you but i will always remember how it felt beside you "".

Neither Mine nor Yours .. !

I was talking to Ram and Ryan an hour back about the present politics in India and how Mumbai being the financial powerhouse of the country is treating other North Indians ... How Fucked is Raj Thackeray in the head and how its a war between the uncle and the nephew ... well yeah another random stuff to pen down ... ! which later Ryan is gonna crib about but anyways who cares... !!

Maharashtra , it is a state that is located on the western coast of the country . It is the 3rd largest state in India and 2nd largest as far as population is concerned. The capital of Maharashtra being Mumbai , which also is the financial powerhouse of the country , main political parties being the Shiv Sena and the Mumbai Navinrman Sena ( MNS ) ....
What is it about Mumbai that is creating a hustle all over ... What is this uproar against all North Indians ? the reason being Raj Thackeray the leader of MNS , head of MNS , the goon of Mumbai , A mindless egocentric freak .. !
To really understand the phenomenon of Raj Thackeray and its present predicament on Mumbai , Bihar and other North Indian States, one has to combine a psychological and sociological perspective. In the case of Raj Thackeray and equally his uncle Bal Thackeray --it can be truly said that the personal is political , while the psychological provided by the unfolding of the relationship between them, the sociological is the constant invention of the ‘other’ as a necessary tactic of survival by the Shiv Sena, and now the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS)....
I personally believe that both Raj and Bal have this supermacy war against each other that has ignited the fire in their own battleground called Mumbai . Raj Thackeray as we all know ... when he got to know that he wont be the political heir to Bal Thackeray ... he decided to take them on their own turf and form the MNS - Mumbai Navinraman Sena , for Bal Thackeray it was the son's blood that triumphed over that of the nephew , ushering Uddhav Thackeray as the unlikely successor for Bal Thackeray.
Nobody is yet sure as to what happened to Balasaheb Thackeray all of a sudden after years of projecting Raj being his successor he suddenly changed his mind and decided onto Udhav Thackeray ( maybe a family crises .. but anyways who cares ?? ) ... however this decision of Bal Thackeray was very expensive ,as Bal Thackeray's unusual lack of wisdom, fueled a hostile competitiveness and rancour in the spurned Raj Thackeray.
To teach Bal and Udhav Thackeray a lesson the MNS was formed , Raj formed it not only to give a slap to Shiv Sena but also to other political parties and to lay its own claim to Maharashtra Mumbaikars , if not all of Maharashtra , throughout the history of Maharashtra MNS and Shiv Sena have barely come into a open conflict but an underground war of supremacy is always there.
Raj had learnt a lot of things from his uncle due to his close association with him . How to control Mumbai with muscle power , how to hold it to ransom , how to demand respect , how to bust the psychological nerves of Mumbaikars and protect them against the onslaught of foreigners -- the foreigners being the poor Indians who come to the shore of Mumbai to earn a living .... !
Many writings and movies ( Guru , A Wednesday , Yeh hain Mumbai meri jaan , Black Friday ) are a testimony to the composite nature of Mumbai created as it continually is through the migrations of Indians of all hues. weather they are from the east , west , south or the north it doesnt matter to them one bit. Mumbai is the only city in India that can be compared to cities like New York , Dubai or London ... ! like Mumbai people in New York are thrown on top of each other due to their hectic lifestyle , where they are forced to relate to each other irrespective of their caste,creed,color,religion etc...
What we know is that these cities are made by a labor of millions each has a dream and each wants to go for that dream
Do these cities belong to anyone ? Can they survive by abdicating to claims of primacy by a particular ethnic group, granting it privileges not granting to others . Language is a preference that comes with ethnicity and those who relocate themselves to Mumbai do not resist the language but accomodate their own speech onto it ... Marathi is not threatened by any other language and neither is Bambaiya Hindi which itself is a creation of this city .. !!
The Shiv Sena has survived as a regional party through a long track record by creating the ""outsiders "" and by presenting them as someone who take away what rightfully belong to the Marathis .. ! We dont need to remind ourselves that it was initially the South Indians , then the minority Muslims , then North Indians as a whole and then finally targetting UP and Bihar . This has been very easy for both MNS as well has Shiv Sena because its easy to beat them down... the outsiders have always been a migrant minority — regional or religious....
What does this do for the greatness of Marathi's that the opponents chosen are weak and defenceless unlike those that their hero Shivaji chose to battle ? .. Perhaps the relevant point here is Raj Thackeray for him its not the North Indians who are the real opponents .. it is the uncle Balasaheb Thackeray who is the main opponent , he is perhaps fighting for something which he calls his rightful inheritance ... .! The day is not far when Balasaheb will die ... if i am not wrong he is aged 65 or something .. !
Unfortunately , the youthfullness of desperate Raj Thackeray promises us that his brand of "gundagari " is not about to fade away in a hurry . To limit the damage of destruction between Bal and Raj Thackeray people should start beliveing on the fact that "" Mumbai kisi key baap ki nahi hain "" ... ! , it is the people who make the government and it is time the people are woken up from this utter nonsense that is happening in Mumbai ... It is only then that Mumbai could be termed as a world class city .... !

P.S - Ally just in case you read this post... do remember i still hate Maharashtra and there is no place that is better than Delhi ... :P

Relationships ....

Relationships ... As a child i was very sensitive about my relationships. Maybe coz i was shy , low on self confidence and that till the age of 10 i barely made any friends . I remember feeling this bond once when as a kid i had to go to Meerut to my grandmoms place by bus wih a co-passenger . Except when the journey ended the co-passenger walked off and we were back to being strangers again. I couldnt help wondering it if i just didnt have it in me to make a relationship work ? or maybe i was this unintresting bore who thought so much about himself , I wasnt sure as to what i had wanted ? Did i like being all by myself or to be in a relationship ? If i wanted to be in a relationship it would mean that i would have to change i wont like what i see every morning in the mirror there would be a lot of compromises and adjustments that i would have to make, and what guarantee is it that this relationship is going to be all good in short it is going to be a working relationship ??
What is a working relationship anyways .. it depends on where you start from if you aim at the stars then it means a relationship where both the partners are " happy " however if you tend to look at the ground it means a relationship where atleast one partner is happy ( isint it better to have atleast one happy instead of both of them being unhappy )
As i started analyzing myself as to why i couldnt make relationships work ? i decided i would go for a relationship where one person could be happy it could be me or it could be her ...
I decided onto this coz you know you keep your objectives low there are high chances they could be achieveable .. :) I thought to myself that it would be the best if my partner would be the who would be happy , coz when she would be happy i would be happy and maybe she would change herself to make sure that i am happy too....
To stick to this plan i decided to be more flexible , more open than i orignally was, the fact that i always had varied intrests has always helped. I started trying to understand what my partner was all about . Getting an insight in her mind , heart etc .. it is intresting to find so many new ways to do it . Every person is different and offers a different way to gain insight over her . Once i got to know that person , i started changeing myself to suit that person .... ! it was fun to see she discovering me , understanding me and haveing the same likes and dislikes .
To be fair here i wasnt really turning myself upside down under the wires of flexibility , it was more or less a course correction . DO NOT underestimate the power of course correction !! . We would still be sailing happily on the Titanic if the course correction had happened and offcourse there wouldnt have been any movie if that course correction had happened .. ..
The plan worked for me . I started to relise that i wasnt really bad at forming relationships , it had boosted my self confidence as well as makeing me relise that i wasnt a loser after all . It also helped to know closely some of the most amazeing women i have met in my short life .... :):)

All was fine until i met this new crop of modern , sensitive and smart women with a fair sprinkleing of traditional values. They asked me Apurv -- are you ok ? ... what do you want ? ... are you happy ?? I was stumped ! .. i dint know what to answer , i just dint know what was happeneing ? ... i needed to upgrade to a better software or a faster Ram/Chip or something . I wish i could be an airport announcer and say that "" the flight has been delayed "" and put off the microphone but NO .... I had to answer to these women, these women whom i am so attached to ... I answered them with a fake smile saying - i am happy if you are happy we want the same things its just that you are too frank about it .. maybe too vocal about it .. i am happy to see you smileing and happy .... I am not sure these answers satisfy them and i know the reason why , these seem to be superficial for their soul searching questions ... Surely after haveing a smoke or something i can come with something better (meaningful?deep?) rather than --- i am happy if you are happy .. ! ..

Except i cant , this is how i have chosen myself to be , this is the path i have taken ...
This is probably why they are in a relationship with me . I dont want to change back into a self-centered person who enters into a relationship as if i am entering into a contract where both the partners should know their roles . A realtionship is not a contract and it never will be a contract the more you try to control it the more it will slip away from your hand . It is like a small baby you say No to chocolates and she would want that chocolate only. She wants all that careing and loveing you have got . She is a bundle of joy though she has her own set of problems all you need to do is be a little more patient and not to loose your temper coz she could cry coz of that ....

I write this sitting in my balcony , with warm slow winds blowing across my face agreeing to whatever i have said today . I write this because being here alone all by myself makes me yearn for a relationship even more ... it makes me relise that what i am is because some of the wonderful spirits in life have and continued to rub off against me .. they have only got questions when it is my turn to give them answers , all i gave them were these seemingly unconvinceing answers . I dont think they love me for what i am as i love them for what they are

This is what matters to me and this is why we both are " happy " ... !