December 4th , 2008 ----> Tamarind and the Famous Dope

It seems that it has just gone. It seems that it just did not happen. How much ever i can deny i know it that it had happened, blaming on being high on weed and vodka is also something which cannot be justified. I probably feel stunned as to the way i am. I feel this city called New Delhi has taken over me, staring at the mirror at the moment does not yield any way as to what had happened , maybe the atmosphere at Tamarind had taken over me, maybe the way Anu answered me. Guilty is not something which i am looking forward to... Why should i feel guilty about it anyways ?.. I don't think i did anything wrong at that stage, i guess Ria and Anu believe the same. It couldn't be the end of the world or is it ? or maybe i am too high under the influence of a requisite pot well personally i would have said it was Exotic. I might have never got lost on my way back provided i would have lived here more than the last 15 years of my life. I feel the markings on the roads were trying to tell me something, a path towards redemption , a path towards internal peace, however it might have mislead too .

The trucks zooming past me seemed like big elephants running in a heard , as if running from a fire in the forest . Its probably amazing that vehicles can act as humans and animals too. I could read signs telling me " vengeance point ahead " , it could have taken me 10 minutes to be back from Safdurjung Enclave however the journey seemed to have taken hours, my eyes feel pain , i can see it watering , it has a glowy red feeling towards it. My head seems to be storming , it seems Atom bombs are bursting one by one .

I feel the wind blowing on my face as if to ask for companionship, the floor below is inclined i feel closer to the clouds. Is it just me or is it just in my mind that in this cold winter i am only one who is sweating profusely. Everything seems to burning from the inside , mu lungs are trying to exhale a big fire. Maybe the Blue fairy is trying to give me a message to Fuck one and Fuck all !

Everything seems inverted, maybe i am the one who could be upside down. Why do i regret it now ? . Why couldn't have thought about this earlier ? It's just probably a time of 2 hours more that i would be fine, my main initiative to write this today is to record my experience no matter how fucked it was, at the moment when you see the sky , you can probably note that a animal kingdom is alive , there seems to be a re-make of jungle book happening up there.

At the moment i presently feel like a Guardian Angel sent from far away lands. Maybe because i can still hear Vikrant singing right into my ears

"" Get your lighters , roll that shit and lets get higher

your lungs are gonna feel a fire

maybe you think i am a liar

drive as if you have a burning tire ""

""You are soo fucked that probably gonna roll

Until its done dont open the door

Dont pass it i can't take it anymore

Someone go down and take a trip to the store ""